Scars

Words aren’t enough to explain what family means to me.

I just can’t put it into words. I was looking through a photos of my family. I realized how the years have changed us all in so many ways. For some things, I remembered still of all the things we shared. Especially when everybody was still a kids. An innocent young kids. Remembering the good times of childhood, spending time with one another has always been an integral part with family. But as time goes by, and as we grown up, there’s no such thing like ‘together’ again. Everybody is so busy with their studies and job. I wish them to have right beside me everyday is hard. Oh well nothing you can do with that. I found this on someone’s blog.

‘The thought of family was the best thought in the world’

Really? We’ve been through a lot in life and I’ve been through emotional journey in these few days. I stumble to find the words right now. Please bear with me. I believe that every family is going to have problem. Who doesn’t? You? Oh biggest lie! Somebody told me that, issues are not always a bad thing. Only a small burden you have to go through. Problem, burden, obstacle make us strong and stronger. For one day, I know things will be different. I can still smile all the time, laugh, share fun times

Like..............
Nothing ever happened

Welcome December!

Yeah 11 months have flown by. December gonna take November place. So goodbye baby November! Well for sure, we have loads of memories together. We’ll meet again next time occayy! :’D

So hi readers! Here I’m here again with my post. So lately, I’ve not been blogging cause it often takes up too much time for me to blog. But tonight, however, both of my conditions and emotions seem to be present and here I am again. Gonna writing down some things that have been on my mind now. Yeah!

Err so recently, I quite love the life I have now. No so but still love. It so-called lifeless life! Staying up late, playing computer games hanging out with friends. Well what more can I say for that? Sounded so great for me. I’m not always like this. I guess everybody too. So when I got to be in holidays, I just thought of something relaxing. Like this! This feeling is comforting yet awkward for me. Why? Well almost a year, you live together with school, home works pilled up like a mountain, get up early. I have struggled with these things ever since high school. Just like my previous post. How much I love this life now, it makes me miss my high school so much right now. I really miss talking to people and have deep conversations. I feel like crying now cause I haven’t found someone who I can have soul talk with. To be honest, I don’t want to be in school again but uh well. School can be so boring yet exciting. Why? Cause of your friends! There’re still loads of mixed feelings within me now.

4 weeks run faster please! It's feels almost surreal that I'll be starting my last year of school next year. As a form 5. Walawehhh SPM maaaaa! Mom couldn’t believe that!

‘Eh adik dah nak masuk Form 5. Tapi kenapa pendek? Macam tak percaya je’

HAHAHAHA! -.-

Eratic

Alright i’ll finish the post! Not like any other day that I’ve tried, typing a few lines and the whole idea just vanished. Hmmm :)

Hoping for that special someone to appear right now,

WHO IS THAT PERSON? :’)

#The one who I’ve been staring to his picture 24-7

#Excited to the bones when I see his post

#Can’t keep off the phone wanting his text

#Always hearing your voice going when there’s actually none

I’m so sorry. I just missing you that bad. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done in this few days. We both did absolutely nothing wrong. You know, I feel like losing my emotions right now yet suffocated. The December month has come. I had a wish on this month. I do remember the strength in which I believed in my wish. I hope you too. Let’s wish for something good to happen. I know maybe it’s not gonna fix anything now but I still want to say sorry for a million times. This isn’t my first time nor you. I've been feeling it and I surely know how bad it could be. I can’t laugh, I can’t smile. Maybe I do outside but not inside. Laughing and smiling but not from the heart. It had no meaning in it like it just FAKE. I remembered it was since the day we both try to convince our self back. You know how happy I am when I heard those promises, swear-ing part? Like it was just a dream. A boy could do anything for his girl! But uh well, I thought what I’ve been dream before has come true. I found something which I never wish I knew. Since that day, my words no more calms me, your words never satisfied me, the feeling 'relief' has left its place in my heart. How I wish I never knew you before. If only I could turn back time. Well, I guess it’s true what people said. Happiness doesn’t last forever! I actually have no idea when this heart will bloom again to its end, when this mouth will speak a thousand words again along with the heart which could really feel again. Have faith xx :’)

P/s: Welcome December! Goodbye, dear November :')

Desperate

Hello Readers! I kept forgotten to update my blog recently. Well actually, I’m a bit lost this holiday. I wanna try out for a job but there’s a problem with job in this holiday. Soooo as you guys can predict now. I’m going to drown myself in boredom by staying at home and doing NOTHING. NOTHING at all. This holiday starts with a pretty good one but the middle and the end of it, I’m sure I’ll lost my balance.

Is there any job for 16 years old?

Anything PM me. LOL LOL. I think I have just developed an instant jealousy towards you guys. I’m pretty sure, you guys had a great day aren’t you? If only I were in your shoes, I could just enjoy the holiday as much as I could. Not like nowww! Dear holiday, if only you know now that you're making me miss school so much right now! Miss those fourty person where everybody knew my name, miss those person where I can laughing and making joke at. What I miss the most are the people that I used to laugh and smile at. My friends! I already can feel the ache of homesickness

MISSYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! :’(

Alarwww dah cutirwww oh :P

Selamat berhari jumaat dear readers :)

As usual, dah tak tau nak buat apa cuti2 ni. Exam dah habis, sekolah dah habis, duit dah kutip. Eh duit apa? RM100 lah! Hahaha! Tuhan je tau macam mana teruk nya hari nak ambik duit tu. Berjam jam tunggu kalah orang nak daftar pergi haji. Tapi malas lah nak cerita pasal tu. You guys knows how bad that days is. Dah lepas pun kan? Point pun bukan nak cerita pasal duit. Kita sama2 berkongsi experience pasal duit ni. Oh okay merepek lagi aku ni

Result exam pun dah dapat. Aku lah orang paling bersemangat nak check result. 3 4 hari habis exam aku dah sibuk check dekat web dah. Bukan apa. Kalau result tu pos kat rumah nanti, takde lah kita shocked tahap hantu kan? At least dah tau dah apa result kita. Kesedihan dan kekecewaan korang tu boleh tolak tepi dah. Kemarahan ibu bapa je yang tinggal. So tak ada lah terbeban sangat! Tak mampu nak cerita pasal result ni sebenar nya. Result kali ni, not so good and no so bad

#Ada fail ke?

Perlu ke nak tau? Hahaha eh ada ada. Semesti nya ada. Tapi tak payah tanya apa. Perkara biasa :P

#Berapa banyak subjek lulus?

Errr kira kira banyak lah jugak yang lulus. Mampu menandingi subjek yang gagal. Tapi kredit tak kredit tu kau jangan tanya. Tak mampu teman nak jawab

# Kau dapat no berapa?

Sibuk kenapa? Hahaha! Okay ni part aku paling sedih nak jawab. Menurun! :(

Demam result. Bukan apa ah. Gagal2 tu semua actually salah diri sendiri. Siapa suruh kau tak study betul2. Betul tak? *kata2 untuk diri sendiri*. The worst thing is, diorang post result final kali ni ke rumah. Kecut tak kecut? As for me, parents aku ni jenis tak lah ambik kisah sangat. Bukan tak kisah pasal anak diorang ni. Dah anak dia gagal, apa nak buat kan? Hahaha okay good luck untuk result korang

P/s: CHECK PETI !!!

Friends

A friend is someone who is there to help you through a bad time in your day.

A friend is someone who is there to pick your heart up when it is tour apart for some reason.

A friend is someone you can tell all your secrets to.

A friend is someone you can share things with that you can not tell your parents about.

A friend is a very dear person in our lifes that can help you when you have a very bad cloudy day.

A friend is someone you can share your sad times in your life with.

A friend is someone you can turn to when you need a hug on a bad day.

A friend is someone you talk to about your relationship.

A friend is a very caring person .

A friend is someone who is the silver lining when the clouds are gray in your life.

A friend is someone who is there when you lose someone you love.

That’s what friends are for

"But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine"

-Thomas Jefferson

P/s : Tak cukup korum lagi 3 orang. Cek eynn, nonie, ajuuuuu T___T

It’s all over

2 days ago…

I’m sitting on a wobbly desk. Nothing more could I say. I just hate sitting on desk that wobble when I write. Isn’t that horrible to write In a wobble desk when you’re having your exam that time? Oh well not much. Forget it. Never mind. My life has just begun now. I finally finished my final examination two days ago. Officially done with all the subjects now! It sorta gonna be in my career part sooner. Perhaps. Now I can say goodbye to the final examination. You ruined my life for 2 weeks and a half. Seriously. 2 papers in a day and about 20 papers in 2 weeks were not that easy. Somehow I’m bored with final exams. But thanks god i managed to pull through. I can feel so much freedom right now. Really need a break from all the stress I’ve been through in these 2 weeks. I really hope I did well on my paper. Hopefully, my result will be better this final. God bless god bless god bless! It’s time to taking a break again. From tests and assignments. NO ONE LIKES for sure. Oh well, no one! Final exam should just die. My mind is extremely relieved now. Sooooo again. Goodbye to early morning class, goodbye to weekend homework!

No more sleeping late, no more sleepless nights, no more books, no more!

My life has just begun now.

Happy holiday to all school students!

Selamat hari raya haji!

AWESOME!

P/s: Np the rocket summer #twitter

Blogging

Fellas!

I choose to keep this post short compared to the previous one. Sometimes I feel like, I just wasting my time letting people know about what I’m doing, about what they really should know. Well, people said so. Bloggers waste their life by sitting on the laptop for hours. For me, it just take less than 30 minutes to finish my post. I mean, write in less than 30 minutes. I must admit, sometimes when I got NO idea anymore, I feel like leaving my text. I have a plenty of great ideas actually but I just save all of my text in the drafts that aren’t going anywhere. Sometimes! Oh well, then I just thought of continue it back. Simply stay committed on my text and finish what I have started. It wasn’t easy actually cause i need to find the ideas back. Haha but it’s all worth it when I finish my writing. Now now now, I don’t feel like blogging. Not that I don’t like blogging. It’s fun to write anything I want to write, interact with the others. It’s fun! It has been almost 2 years I’m here. I’m proud with what I have accomplished in these 2 years. Well, not become too over zealous to post the articles every day. I said I’d love to write, no matter how much I tell myself that I love blogging, it still happen actually. But still, I do actually care about my blog every day. Even on those days where I don’t feel like it. And I do have days like that, we all do

Two things, two things

Life:

I was born in an average family. Well, I couldn’t ask for more. I’m not rich! My family is not rich. We’ve been through a thick and thin wall before. With the difficulties and hardship helping us to be who we are today. I mean, the enjoyment of life. Money? Tell me who wouldn’t want more money in life? I never had enough money for my life. Haha! But I still I thanks to god for still giving me precious life. I can still feel the love of life. When I was in school or maybe when I post so called ‘expensive’ photos in my social network, I often got something likeeeeee, You rich kid! Who the hell are you, I’m not rich! Note to you guys, when you accidentally see something expensive In me like the clothes I wear, the foods I eat, the photos I post, you should know something. I’ve been working hard to save my money for that. HARD! Or sometimes it was a gift from my parents. Not always. But well i just lucky to have parents like mine. They often criticize their kids. Moderation is the key to a good life. Plus they often note to us, we’re not that rich to enjoy our life now like a few people dose. Believe something. Someday, when you have been successful in work, you’ll be one of them. My conclusion now is, be smart with money and everything you had. Don’t just throw your money around. I know you’re rich. Better throw to someone who needs it more. They waiting for you in all over the world :)

AND

Love:

The first feeling you feel when you were still a baby. What a feeling! Love is great, love is beautiful, love is pure from the heart. Everybody needs to understand what love really is. Love for mom, love for dad, love for brother/sister, love for your…. Love one. It comes in various ways. It’s amazing to feel the love inside your heart. ‘The first love is always puppy love’ just like everybody say. Have you heard that before? Everyone was born to love. Well, yeap. If you’re the one who couldn’t say yes for this, may I ask you a question?

Don’t you love your god who created you?

Don’t you love your mom and dad who raised you?

Don’t you?

P/s : Be happy with life :)

What we have been through for a year and a month

# Fight and quarrels!

No ones have a perfect couple for themselves. It may be okay for now, but sooner or later it wouldn’t be as great as what you’d wish for. Honesty and trust is the most important things everybody have to rebuild in their couple life. Once broken, will always show the cracks and difficult to put it all back together.

No matter how long it’ll stay but I’d pray it turn out good. The best thing is I know how to handle things. I can’t believe I can be as good as I am now and today. Look myself in the mirror and say ‘Well I can be cruel. Just like you too’. Sometimes, all we need is a lil reassurance to think that everything’s gonna be alright like it used to. One year and one month, we have been through loads of thing. From good to bad and bad to good. I gained a little bit experience from this relationship. What? Oh well, tolerance. Tolerance is important. Take note! Even the pain and the hesitation is still there to remind me what was wrong, but I’d love you to bits. Now and still. Nothing’s change. Giving you love while I can. Cause in the end, I know we can’t be together

Happy one year and one month

Love you loads xx

"when the lights go out,

we'll be safe and sound.

we'll take control of the world like it's all we have to hold on to.

and we'll be... a dream."

Tarapappaapa!

Peace be upon you, lovelies

Its been a while since my last post. The truth is that i just don't have time to think of anything to write about. But knowing the fact that I have to update my blog again sometime this week. Okay firstly I wanna say hi back to all readers! Just finished up with second exam weeks. Well, it has been 2 weeks actually and another one more week to go after the hols. I’m having so-called break for a week again. The paper wasn’t easy at all. Especially freaking ass maths. Insert typical text here --> *I hate numbers* sport science and of course science too. What’d you expect right? I swear, it is so hard. I don’t even know how to start my Essie. I don’t even have an add to write about as well. Sucks much! A little confusing about the questions. Never mind. Now I’m currently struggling for third exam week. 2 more subjects to go, 4 more papers left and then I’ll just say goodbye final examination week. You should just die earlier but em well.

But at least i've got one more week of hell to go through. ONE MORE! Let shout out loud together, ONE MORE WEEK! Right now, hello holiday! I has more time on my hands now. I don't have to think of anything that has got to do with school work. *Just for awhile* I got a feeling. That I'll have a good holiday!

Happy holiday xoxo

Have an exciting one!

Sepatut nya aku..

Bila orang kata jangan buat, aku akan buat

Bila orang kata tak patut, aku akan buat

Dan bila aku sendiri kata tak patut, aku akan buat

Salah diri sendiri

Sepatut nya aku TAK buat lagi

Sepatut nya aku TETAP kan kata kata aku sendiri

Sepatut nya aku TAK mungkir janji kat diri sendiri

Sepatut nyaaaaa

Dan sepatut nyaaaaaaaa aku……......

Hmm :’))))

Semoga Allah bantu aku tetap kan pendirian aku kali ni

Dan semoga aku betul-betul tetap kan kata-kata aku sendiri

InshaAllah :’))

P/s: Aku ikhlas kan semua benda

Final examination

Well I think, from the status updates and the tweets I’ve made seems like NO ONE LIKES FINAL EXAM. It can indeed be scary stuff. We’re having our so called break now and I don’t wanna let this chance passed me by remembering my test 2 is super bad. I guess all of my classmate too but congrats to whoever who passed the test with flying colors. My mark is degrading me and for this final, I hope no subject is going to fail especially my Perdagangan and Basic economy. Oh what about maths? Well I don’t target any gred or mark for maths causeeee, I hate numbers. Just see what happen with my paper soon :)

‘Sit down in class and knowing all the subject’s paper for this final are made by PPD’

So that mean, I don’t know the chapter for each subject that will be come out for this final. I feel like I want to die or at least disappear but at the same time I'm not intending to fall sick. I'm not going to dissapoint anyone. I must NOT! Next week is going to be a ’heavy’ week for me. My paper start on Wednesday. May god bless me for this final exam

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU xx

P/s : Blog mati sekejap okay? Bye

When i'm alone

I've been listening to this song a couple of hours ago. I feel like crying whenever i listen to a song like this. It's making me think of what have been going on right now, the only song i can relate to in time like this. So far, it's beautiful :')

________________________________________________________I'm just trying to find outWho I am on my ownI had you right beside meBut now you're gone and I knowThat when the room clears I'm still hereWho am I when I'm alone?
They say time is a healerBut it's more like a concealer for a scar'Cause it never really leaves usBut it can always find us where we are, we areWho thought it could ever be so hard?
There's so much I should have said when time was wearing thinYou're not here but someday I know I'll see you again_____________________________________________________
I miss you

Something something

# Berubah kerana tuhan

# Berubah untuk diri sendiri

# Berubah untuk orang lain

But the most important thing is first manusia berubah kerana tuhan. Tapi ada ke yang berubah kerana DIA? Segelintir je kot jarang kita jumpa. Mostly yang berubah sebab orang lain. Salah satu nya, ‘girlfriend’. Honestly lah kan, aku paling geli dan menyampah orang nak berubah kerana manusia yang kita sendiri tak tau manusia tu akan wujud as ‘permanently’ or ‘temporary’ (dah macam marker pen pulak permanent ni) Well, I’ve been through in one situation where my ‘favourite person’ nak berubah sebab.. diri ni kot. Tinggi jugak ‘kebanggaan’ in that time tapi sekejap je. Lepas tu aku terus je cakap ‘kita ni perlukan perubahan untuk diri sendiri dan bukan sebab orang lain’. Well nevermind

# I’ll love you forever and I swear

# I can swear to god, you’re the only person I ever need

Noo man, sorry! Dalam relationship yang kita sendiri pun tak tau sejauh mana kita akan pergi, sumpah sangat tak diperlu kan langsung! I’ll just say, ‘I love you’ but no swearing plis. Tau tak bila relationship kau tu dah terputus dan terabai di tengah jalan, kau dah buat satu dosa sebab dah bersumpah? Lagi2 bila ada yang sanggup sebut nama tuhan. Tolong lah be mature. Sayang orang tak semesti nya perlu bersumpah. Bila kita bersumpah, satu benda yang kita perlu buat is ‘meant it’

Aku bercakap berdasar kan pengalaman and benda yang I’ve been through

Cracked

Do.. a boy cries for his girl?

Do.. they have you on their mind 24hours?

Do.. they miss you all the time?

Do.. they smile at random times at the thought of you?

Do.. they think a about the smallest things you say?

Just like.. a girl do? Do they?

All of this question that I'm always thinking. Ump lemme reffering this post as him. Simple post to fix this fragile heart in time like this

Well today is one of those day where I feel nothing’s right again, where everything I did somehow related to you. His face serene and smiling, brings tears to my eyes. How are you today? Is everything goes well? I haven’t had a day where my fingers don’t type a long text, I haven’t had a day where I stop doodling your name over. A tear wasted and maybe this’s a suicide. Suicide without a physical pain.

Someone asked me today, how I can be this happy in time like this. Well simple, this’s my effort to appear strong. Lemme hide my pain inside, let everyone think that I’m still survive. I don’t wish this to come, I don’t wish this to happen

'I really can’t see someone else hold your hand, I really can’t see someone else replace my place ‘

Noo honestly, I can’t! Sorry for all the lies I’ve made. I said, I don’t care but my heart told me a different story. A heart can’t lie no matter how much you tell lies. Sorry for the sudden disappear. If only you know, the only thing I ever need now is… you. But lemme fix this heart and disappear

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this!

No contact anymore

I WILL do this!

P/s : Hopes and maybe even dreams

Nights readers

I miss these things

# Waking up and the first thing i did was run to mommy and running outside to play with friend

# Silly enough to play with tamagotchi's. Anyone play this before?

# Not caring of what i looked like

# Getting dirty and coming home and taking a bath

# When the only reason i cried was when i get hurt and friend teased me

# Listened to Westlife all day long

# Holding my dad's hand and the only boy i kiss was him

# When there wasn't such a thing as rumor

# Not worry to have a haircut

# When we swearing such a bad thing

# Get excitement when we get chocolate and ice-cream!

# The only drama was 'taknak kawan'. 'I'll tell my mom, my kakak pengawas sekolah dia then you know how it'll be'

# When you climbing trees to pluck fruits

# Going to parks and play every evening

# When we going to Fun-Fair and ask momma to give you some money

Well, just to show to you guys. Childhood memories is beautiful. Recalling every memories i had.

Everything was easier. All can be fixed with ice-creams. Yummy :')

Lil note for Mom xx

Dear Mommy, mak or ibuuuuu :DD

Well actually I’ve been trying to post her picture but somehow it doesn’t want to get through. I found out didn’t. Nevermind.

Today is mom’s birthday. I couldn’t believe she has reached the number of 48! To be honest to you guys, I never ever did a surprise for her. Just like…. Everybody did to their mom. ‘Wake up, go over to her, give her a huge hug and kiss, tell her how much you love her and how thankful you’re to have her as your mom’. I never did that. Just a simple wish to her with laugh and smile

Mom, happy birthday. May you have a really good and blast one. I love you for everything you’ve ever done for me and my two sisters and for others that you haven’t done too. Million thanks for raising us with such amazing kindness and thanks for being the light that I needed many times

So mom, I’m telling you this way and you should know that I always celebrating your birthday and your existence always come out to mind

I am who I am today because of you

Love you

……………..

Now and Forever xx

P/s : Quick post

Empty spaces between my fingers

Maybe..

I’m not good enough for anyone. I admit that, perhaps I’m not good enough for friends too. But I think, this is the most selfish thing I ever had. I find myself thinking I’m abandoned. Well, I know who I am. Thinking back of the last time we’re together, I’m speechless. Almost waste this tears in front of you guys. I don't know who to tell with. For everything that I have made before, as a friend it proved to be futile. Well, not much. Just a lil thing that made me regret and… of course sad too. I found myself stupid sometimes. Why? Cause I think, I’m tooo kind for that. I mean, in some ways I found out that I’m too kind that nobody not gonna pay that kindness of me back. Don’t get me wrong! My purpose to tell here is, I have a heart too. I feel as if, I rather stay in shadow and pain and I don’t know now what friend to friend means

My mind wanders

Sorry so much

Start over

Well, looked through the window. I just love the weather today. Nice and humid! Em :)

Technically, I have another blog actually. The other one I created is just for poems and any quotes I got. Just to share with you guys! Anyways, my blog’s link changed a couple of weeks ago and million apologies for that. There’s something here that doesn’t make sense to ‘someone’. Hell yeah :) All of my friends asked to create another link and here it goes. Unholyconfessionbloggies! Don’t ask me why with the name cause actually I’ve no idea what to tell you. Wink thanks for visiting! Here is my new beginning. I just started my school back around 2 or 3 weeks ago. Not bad! I’ve just got all of my result and the result… hm pretty disappointed. Er okay actually, I’d expect it would happen. My expectations are much higher than before especially when I got my BM result. BM RESULT! First time in my life, I feel like crying when I got that. To be honest, I prefer essay. I know some of you guys, gonna hate essay. 350words wasting your pen ink isn’t it? I admit it, but I love essay and I don’t know why. I’ve been too good on expressing myself by writing. Not to be ‘perasan’. I just lovvvvvessss :)

So today, I just skipped my class. Give a simple reason to mom ‘Malasssss lah mak’. Hahaha green light! Alright no more crap’s like that anymore. I just can swear to god, the assignments are killing me! I never ever gonna do my homework at the very last minute. Pathetic! I hate school but there’s one big reason why I love going to class. That is.. friend :) Especially in my class. We’re like ONE BIG FAMILY. Happy family are always together. We all do smile, we all do laugh, enjoy making joke during class and act ridiculously. Like I was home :)))

' I don't remember how we happened to meet each other. I don't remember who got along with whom first. All I can remember is all of us together...always :') '

P/s : Tiba2 terasa nak ber 'teman sejati' jap :P

Open Houseeee!

Since kita still dalam bulan syawal ni, I would like to take the opportunity again to wish Selamat Hari Raya untuk semua!

Dah kalau syawal, ofcos lah masih lagi terkenal dengan open house kan? Yup my schedule for open house sangat pack since last week. Bagus jugak at least I got something ‘to do’ and boleh merayau cucii mattaaa. *joking*

My 1st house on 11september : First location di rumah my close friend nonieyyy! Menumpang my driver sejati ayuuuuu! Hahaha :DD Great lah. Pergi dengan satu lagi motor. Kira 2 motor lah. Balik bermotor-motor. Syiok woo dah macam konvoi. Thanks for the great hospitality noniey :)

Second house on 13 September : Location rumah ‘tuutt’ and Puteri. Time ni…. Ump malas nak cerita panjang. Even ni blog sendiri pun still bahaya nak cerita apa2. But still semua nya great. Thanks for the great hospitality guys and ‘duit raya’ :P

Third 15 September : Kali ni kat rumah sendiri! Sorry to those yang tak jemput and jangan marah ogeyhhh? Rumah full gila sampai pintu. Rumah flat je pun. It’s okay next time ada lagi. Wait for the invitation jelah korang ye. Aku just jemput budak2 kelas and ada yang lain sikit. Itu pun nasib baik tak masuk lagi kawan k.long and ngah. Nasib lah their friend dah balik dulu. Kalau tak, habis lah. Tak sangka kawan sendiri boleh ramai. To jue, thanks DATANG! Hahahaha XD

16 September : *Location Taman Sri Indah! Rumah shahrul pulak. Dengan driver sejati lagi ayuuu :DD Ikut shortcut ( Kalau highway mampus lah ). Nice dapat makan spaghetti. Rumah kau cantik shahrul. Thanks duit raya. Haha :)

*Second location : Rumah Fazim pulak. Ada nasi kerabuuuuuuuuu >< Tapi aku makan mihun je. Perut agak full that time and anyways, thanks to Fazim sebab baik ambil kan air aku sebanyak 2 kali and thanks AYU sebab berjaya 'lompatkan' mihun aku -,-

*Third house : Rumah lyana. Time nih berlagak konon2 perut dah full. Actually memang dah full gila cause before that dah 2 rumah kot makan. Pergi ambik macaroni sikit gila. Sekali makan, tiba2 rasa sedap pulak. Umppp >< Thanks duit raya aunt :)

17 September : Tarikh bertembung dengan tarikh open house and jamuan kelas kat Mines. First pergi mines dulu enjoy till 4PM. Then balik cepat2 tukar baju and tunggu ayu jemput. Sampai CJ je hambiikk kau hujan lebat tak payah cakap! Nasib baik kitorang jumpa khemah India mana entah. Tumpang berteduh kejap for almost sejam weh! Time tu dah berasap dah. Tapi pergi jugak rumah eyra kejap. Basah kuyup! >< Balik pun redah je. Nak dekat maghrib balik!

THE END

P/s :Nice tak? Total dah 7 house. This week tunggu rumah ayu pulak. Masuk 8 dah. Memang aku cukup makan bulan nih. Errr

Personal blow

Another one of my attempts to lose something like.. ‘ myself ‘. It’s been a depressed day since the 1st Syawal. Can’t ever figure out why.

It was nice, humid and cold morning. Goodmorning sleepyheads!

Well as usual, nothing to write about. But I’m gonna express something here *Mostly what I write here is what I feel*. Express what I cannot say to anyone, I wouldn’t know what to place it as

Another chapter comes in life which brought myself to the emptiness and so called boring-ness, devastated. Well I don’t focus to one point, what I really mean is everything. I’m stuck with my ordinary live. Hell yeah it’s kinda depressing to see people stuck In their ordinary lives isn’t it? Now I think, it was 3 or maybe 5 times harder than before. I need somewhere to shout out louds. As a fleeting emotion left, the other strengthened and now the other is weakened. Screwed them up! I haven’t been in this conflicted emotion in ages. There’re always a questions with no answers that drive my mind insane. I’m lost

People making me trouble. Why don’t they just put on the full stop and admit their own mistake? Is that really hard? Don’t put the ego too much. Someday soon, you’ll get something which gonna bring you to the hell-ness. My eyes water as I wrote this. It’s been 3 sleepless nights with a swollen eyes. I spend way too much time in my head till I couldn’t sleep. I hate this feeling that i’m feeling. I just hope everything will turn out fine sooner or later

‘Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again. So when life gets hard, you could just run to mommy and it would all be okay’

P/s : This blog is once again alive

Lovely day out!

So let's talk about so called something something on 27 August. It was a couple of days ago. I had a lovely day out with my sister and cousin aiyn! Not so badddd. Even kaki kena gelek oleh stroller di Jalan TAR, even kaki melecet angkara berjalan terlalu banyak and even terpaksa berbuka dengan french fries and mineral bottle but still it was cool. Ngeh ngehh c(:

So here's the pic when i was in Tony Roma's. I tried not to drool over the pics. It's been ages since i had a nice meal out. Sangat lah mencabar segala saraf saraf perut di dalam badan ku -,- Thanks cousin for uploading this photos :)

JUST TO MAKE YOUR MOUTHS WATER!

Tony Roma's!

RIBS, SEAFOOD AND STEAKS

Mostly diorang punya main course is ala ala steaks kot :)

Our fabulous, delicious, marvellous dessert after makan. Haha how i wish i could eat that right now and for something that serve like these. Phewww :D

Salmon pasta ke nama dia? Haha whatever. Salmon dia was actually more tempting than pasta dia. Rasa macam ayam. Seriouslyyy :D

Looks delicious kan? Of course ah. Memang pun. Haha :D These were succulent. Selalu makan dry jer. Atas dia like ada sweet chili sauce. Yummyhhh :D

Makanan awesome, the bill must be awesome too! Receipt dia pun still simpan up until now. Rasa sayang nak buang even hanya sekeping kertas. Umppp :/

Kak Long :)

* Budak tak puasa. Asyik mintak nak minum je sepanjang jalan -,- *

My cousin!

Semuanya her treat dalam satu hari

Bill teksi, bill makan, everything

Haha thankiesss! Next time belanja lagi. Hahaha xD

Speaking silently

IN WORDS

Moving on isn’t easy as I thought it could be. Well for once, I really did. I’m soooo soo proud with myself. But then I tend to go through a range of emotions. Everything has become such a blur. That sucksss! I’ll be honest to you guys, it ain’t easy for me. I nearly cried through every song I play. Mostly the song I used to play when I still in ‘colours’, all the lyrics that I used to send to him of what we were. Each one made me think and reminiscing the past. I couldn’t control. I ended up with crying. That’s the only thing I could do to express and let out my sadness. Why I felt all the natural urges come back right now? Is it a bad sign for a normal human being.. just like me? I was forced to accept my life now. At least I try. I’d think moving on which mean putting the past behind us. Just like that. Simple and easy. I should being strong and looking forward. People gave said to me that and maybe myself too. I realize It's so easy to say words that seem soothing to the ears. Spreading words about how unhappy you are when the fact you couldn’t confront. Letttt goo! Let go what? His memories? His voice? His presence? Is that easy? When I woke up for the first time when I got no colors anymore, I realize that I have been missing something. Something like feeling. And at that time, I took my phone besides me. Look all of his serene and smiling face. 'I am never going to see this face again :')' I will miss you budak smelly. Someday soon we will meet again. If god willing :’D

Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am...isn't me

P/s : Happy EID, budak. Have a blast one xx :'))

Speaking about Raya 2011 :D

Have you guys done all of the things for celebration tomorrow? Well I’ve done mine. All done even not fully. The baju is the most important thing. I wear purple and pink this year. Mix colors! How yours? But well, actually I have no feeling for Raya. Well well maybe I just boring :D

Thinking back of our childhood memories:

Everything is just good. Raya is nice! I can’t wait for Raya every year. Wear new things. New shoes, the food, the setting of the house, the Duit Raya! It comes in packets with the different design and colors. Wonderful! :’)

But well, as time goes by and as you grown older, everything gonna be different. Not gonna like the past. You can’t act like a kid where you easily cry for things. No, you can’t! Smile all the time. I just hope all the preparation and celebration turn out to be okay. If god willing. Amin!

My mom has done baking her kuih raya since the last week. Look so much excited isn’t it? Hahaha! But sadly, I didn’t managed to snap a photo of all the kuih raya. Anyway, today is our last fasting. Thanks ramadhan for treating us good. May you come again next year. There’s still loads of preparation that have yet to be done. So now..

To my families, my close friends, my Muslim readers and all the Muslim around the world

HAPPY EIDULFITRI / SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

Maaf Zahir dan Batin

Maafkan segala kesalahan. Terkasar bahasa, terlanjur kata, tersalah tulis, termencarut or maybe terkutuk ke. Opsss! Hee :D

0-0 yeaaa? Tak baik dendam dendam :)

P/s: I still remember how we started talking

Rambling/Dugaan

Blog aku dan suka hati aku lah aku nak tulis apa pun! Aku suka express perasaan aku kat sini. At least, aku tak tulis something yang agak sensitive pasal orang and cerita benda ‘berulang’ tak tentu pasal. Hal kecik je pun nak kecoh. Sorry lah aku tak layan cerita remeh. Hal kau, aku pun kau nak babit. Sebab? Konon nya babit nama kau dalam blog ni. Seeeee aku punya 2 entri lepas. Memang ada, tapi aku TAK KHUSUS tu untuk kau. Sensitive sangat ke benda tu? Yang pasti memang masalah korang. Kacau aku tak tentu pasal. Ingat aku suka sangat ke bodoh?! Selama ni aku diam, ingat aku suka ke?! Perlu ke lepas ni apa apa yang aku tulis, aku nak mintak izin kau? Kalau hal sensitive tu mungkin. But ni just apa je! Tolong lah jangan bagi pahala puasa aku kurang weh. Lepas ni senang, kau tak payah mengacau tarik kerusi aku bagai. Fikir lah ada akal dan otak Allah bagi kau! Budak pun boleh beza lah benda bodoh dan benda berakal. Okay lah aku dah block korang dua dari facebook aku. Lepas ni apa apa yang aku akan tulis, Korang TAK AKAN dapat tengok lagi. So, selamat lah kira nya kan? Bye STALKER tersayang. Terima kasih kerana menyelongkar

P/s: Rasa nak mengadu segala isi hati dan perut kat orang tu. But lupa kan jelah. Aku dah faham perasaan 'seseorang' tu dah. Hahaha chill :'))

A day to remember

You’ll never understand but I know that soon you’ll accept the fact that we no longer together. Maybe soon you’ll get your new one and begin to forget about me little by little. Isn’t it baby? I’ll just be a people in your past and full of bad stories. Just like what you had tell me about your ex girlfriends. Will I be one of them? Babyyy :’)) Maybe I’m not a good person, I have a lot of flaws, full of mistakes that I have made but I have a HEART. A small heart created by god and raised by mom since I was little. It’s filled with love, love each and everyone beside me. NOT TO HURT :’)) I have made a decision and I think, it’s for our own good. Even it’ll hurt me but somehow, I’ve made it. I hope you’ll never forget me, I’ll not always be by your side, I can’t cheer you up as a lover but only as a friend, no more messages every morning. All of our daily routine will never be the same anymore. Filled with emptiness which we can’t put it into words

Stay silent at least for now and lemme move on. I’m still fragile to write this but only a writing could help me to let out all of my sadness :’)) Hmm i’d be in tears when I read all of our message from first to last. Nice moment. Still remember baby? :’)) It’ll never be a part of our daily routine anymore and I started to miss everything so fucking much. It feels different when you’re not here anymore but I don’t regret for what I have made. Even there are a hesitation is my heart, yet I still pretend to smile. Just like you’re the end for me, just like you’re my last moment. Even small pains make me teary, imagine how this big pain. Can you imagine? :’)) Till then baby, I hope you’re happy :’))

You can always pretend to be happy even though you're crushed inside

You can always wipe the tears and say you never cried but

You can never stop all the pain that you feel

Tears will keep coming and the scars will never heal

P/s: I can’t believe that we have reached the end now. I’m so sorry from the bottom of my heart. I’ll still continue to draw a line of happiness even though I’m still in pain. *Put on the smiling face :’))

Resolusi di bulan ramadhan

-Kurang kan bercakap/ gelak tawa ( Cause I love to laugh )

-Kurang kan ‘ow pocott mak kau bla bla bla -,-

-Kurang kan bercakap benda yang tak berfaedah

Kalau hilang terus lagi bagus

But as you guys know lah kan, month of Ramadhan as a test for us set by god. Sebab apa? Sebab harus diuji dengan macam macam perkara dan akhir nya puasa pun jadi tak berfaedah juga. Contoh nya

Hari ni

........................

1. Hari ni saya jadi ala ala guru di hadapan pentas pada perhimpunan pagi di sekolah saya. Yaaa I got a job last week sebab as a PRS, konon nya we have to be brave. No matter what situation you are in! Tapi aku ni brave ke? Coward kot. Kot je! Jalan ala ala model. Lantai basah sebab hujan kan semalam. Aku jadi tukang pembagi hadiah. Pas pas hadiah je. Mula mula diorang semua berdiri. Sooo hati berkata ‘ Oww sokayy. Mudah kerja wa. Malu pun kurang ‘ Berjalan dengan bangga nya. Last last ‘ Okayyy semua. Lantai dah kering awak semua boleh duduk ye’ Only god knows how I felt that time. It ain't easy! Dugaan -,-

2. As usual kalau bersama classmate yang gila especially the gangsss yang gile. They sit behind my back. Hari hari main tarik tarik kerusi aku. Korang ni takde kerja ke hah? Ishhh hari ni paling worst ke. Dugaan -,-

3. Streamyx! Damn you streamyx! Sehari suntuk internet main gila dengan aku. Wifi macam haram lah. Boleh pulak green light for internet main padam padam. Nyala, padam, nyala, padam. Karang aku kasi padan terus karang! Baru padan muka! Dugaan -,-

TERTAKKK KISAHHH!!!

Untitled

STREEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS! SSSSTTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

TAHAPPPPPPPPPPPP

BERUKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

STREEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS! SSSSSSTTTRRRREEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!

TAHAAAPPPPPPPP

BERUKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Breaking

I had grown tired of fighting. You know when it comes to love, ‘nothing would last forever’. The happiest part, the laugh-est part, the smile-est part. It wouldn’t last forever. Only time can decide everything I guess. My temperance was sometimes harsh, but always in a well-meaning. I’m sorry if i hurt you. Are you hurt? :’) I never knew it would be like this hard. ROUGHNESS! I’ve made a plenty of sacrifice after sacrifice for certain things and I don’t regret, I never complaint. Do you know that? :’) It hurts me more when you said, I’m liar. It’s funny. Maybe you don’t see what I’d really try give to you. I mean, my sacrifice that I have made. Or maybe, that is not enough. What more should I give to you? To open your eyes, what more? I still have a heart, man! Just like you, and just like everyone too. I don’t know what more should I say but one thing I really want is

Please understand me

You know,

You’re the first person who ‘entered the door’ with so many blessings. *This is my small way of honoring you* You taught me how to be ‘strong’, you taught me love is the greatest gift, taught me how to strengthen my convictions. I carry these within me for all the time!

And in the same time,

You taught me how to cry, getting frustrated, feeling horrible, taught me how to break a heart in piece. Thank you for everything :’)

I still give you a chance after all and I don’t know why. You broke my heart and why do I still have feelings? I feel like I’m stupid. *Soul screams :’)

P/s: Sorry for the long entry. I shouldn't be so scared to let people know what im feeling. I shouldn't pretend. I shouldn't care what people think of me either. I just want to share. Sorry :’)

A little note

Sorry guys for not posting any of the story this few days. As usual! Life's great, school's torture as always and bla bla. Everything was just good. Not much i can tell you. Anyway, i was browsing through google. Accidentally found this. Spend your 5minutes to read this and think. *Much loves :)

To get up in the morning only to know that you have to face another obstacle takes strength. To smile when the only thing you can do is cry takes bravery. To act happy and laugh when you know that times are at their worst takes courage. To be joyous when the only good news is the best of the bad news takes support. To be there and help others through the roughest times in life takes love

Till then,

Nights :)

Ramadhan turn ON

Hi there people out there! Sorry for not posting anything lately. I miss writing so much tho! Well there’s nothing good recently. Oh ya welcome back Ramadhan!

Selamat mengerjakan ibadah puasa 2011 / Happy Fasting y’all!

I’m blessed. Thanks to god for still giving me a chance, insight and leading down a path this year. Totally I feel blessed! Hopefully, Ramadhan this year will bring loads of great moment and blessing to me. Not to forget, for everybody too. Amen :)

Random

" We enjoy warmth because we have been cold

We appreciate light because we have been in darkness

We can experience joy because we have known sadness "

— David Weatherford

P/s : Haihh rindu nya

I'm sick :(

Hello to earthlings, to the worldwide! Just wanna let you guys know that, your big boss of this blog is being caught by fever, a super bad dizzy and terrible diarrhea. What can she do in this moment? Really spoiled my mood though :(

No joking at all. I had my super bad dizzy since the last 2 days when I got back from school. A day after that, I barely slept at the night. Waking up every 1 hour and my tummy hurts. Having a diarrhea! Excruciating pangs! I went to school even I turned completely pale coz I don’t wanna tell to mom that I’m sick. The answer she’ll give me is ‘ Alasan taknak pegi sekolah lah tu ’ Hmmm :( Well, strongest girl have a strongest heart for this too ( Sounds cheesy xD ) So it was okay for me. But school just totally stressed me out. I couldn’t bear with the dizzy. Head hurts like hell! I couldn’t remember how many times I mumbling to my friends. ‘ Wuuuuu sakit nya :( ‘ And my mood is totally swings. I feel like crying when my friends made me kinda being stressed. Hide my water bottle when I’m in ‘surau’

Me : Mana botol air aku? *Muka masam bagaikan cuka, air mata takung sikit

Them : Mana kitorang tau

Me : Pandang muka ayu senyap2 and buat muka masam *And asked her to tell ros nak mintak air dia sikit

Last2, eh your water bottle kan kat belakang *They play the jokes on me weh. Don’t you guys know that I’m sick? Totally sick and her mood swings. Buat muka masam lagi. And ended up with crying silently. So sensitive :(

So right now, still having a diarrhea and dizzy but thanks god. My fever is healed now. I want Pil Chi Kit Teck Aun! It really does work for diarrhea even though.. Hmm ( Don’t laugh with that name coz I’ll laugh too. I don’t know why it comes up with these names )

Sounds hilarious

Addicted or anti Korean?

Tell me, what’s so great about it? I can never understand them. They said, Korean music is good than Malaysian quality of music, they are cute HELLA cute, the group is pretty nice than their own country of music grouping. That's the only thing they talk about sometimes. I don't get them AT ALL. Sorry to all Korean diehardfans out there. There’re two things I don’t deny. They’re cute and nice song they got there. But I don’t find out what’s so good, oh I mean VERY good with them till their fans is kinda….

‘Eeee koreann baby darling oh my price, you drivingggg me nuts!’

Errrr -,-

10 times more funnier when you see them in your own eyes especially in the concert. They are awesome weh! Look at them, laugh as much as you can but in a sad way! To be honest, I’d like to listen to Korean music when I had a time ( Not kpop, any pop pop etc ), always looking through the list of the 25 most Korean saddest songs ( Coz I love to cry C(: ), and to be honest again I don’t listen to Malaysian music that much. But well, I don’t listen to kpop! They don't fit my taste and even 2pm, am wtv M they gonna put. Heh not attracted at all :(

Damn weh. You are Malaysian and we live in Malaysia.

‘ Suka korea tu tak salah, but jangan lah terover sangat sampai jadi gila. Berpijak di bumi yang nyata ‘

Helpless

I wish I could sleep all day and laze around

When you no longer feel it in you? When you grow weary? When your heart is torn asunder? When… you think there’s no future behind anything anymore. As if you're just... stuck. The years of prayers finally gonna be answered. What’s after that? This is the things I don’t wish to happen. Nothing else can be done to fix this heart

Aini? A girl full of laughter, full of smile is now soothing her fragile heart

It can never be done with a smile

Ku impikan kau slalu

hanya itu yang ku mampu

Ku tetap kan menunggu mu

Jangan bimbang jangan ragu

Kau tetap bintang hatiku

-Hady Mirza-

How i wish that i was wrong. Say goodbye, with a smile

Letting go

9 Months, 3 Weeks & 3 Days

But when?

My Family

There’re at times where I thought I could do anything. There when at first I thought being on your own was the best thing you could have once in a life time. But then I realize, being close with my family what matters the most. Well, everyone have their own family. So do i

Let’s start with my daddy. He has done so many things for us three. I can’t believe that he has reached the age of fourty-nine. He think he’s still young sometime. He wanted his hair to be black again. Sorry daddy. Accept the number with the sincere heart pls. Hehe you must think he’s a wise man isn’t it? Yes as his daughter, he is :) Daddy is sporting sometime. I just remember about what did he said to me. ‘ Dah besar nanti, adik kawin dengan tauke ayam je ‘ Hahaha teased me sometime. Ehe xx :)

My mom? Gahhh this one is really my favourite. I’m just going to write only a little for her cause I has a very long story about my mom. Not gonna type here coz I know it’s gonna be a very long post just for mom. Hahaha! Well, she’s a true mother who’s gonna embarrasses her three daughter, the one who’re always babbling like a teacher, who you feel like snapping at. After all, she’s my mom. She’s my friend sometime when I had none. Being sporting to her three daughter always! Always asked me,

‘ Adik ada boyfriend, tak? Mak tak kisah. Cakap je ‘

Hahaha how sporting isn’t it? You won't have the heart to hate such an amazing person like her :’))

_______________________________________________________

I hated my sister with my whole heart. Hahaha :D They made me cry sometimes coz they know, their adik love to cry. They often forget I love to cry. Maybe? Heckkk no!

The oldest one is 23y/o but doesn’t look like 23. You know why? Matured look ( Alamak sorry :P ) She often takes away stuff from this house to her hostel. Whenever I visits to her hostel with my mom, ‘ Eh when did you take this? ‘ Damn ah you. No wonder it was missing. Periuk, sudip, etc LOL! My second sister, 20y/o. And for crying, she teased me too. He had been my arch enemy since I was young. We often fought and I would just cry. I was tired of crying sometime coz I think, I had enough :P

I and my second sister grew up in the same time except for the oldest one. For me and my second sister, most of our relatives couldn't differentiate between me and her. ‘ Which one is adik and kakak? ‘ LOLLL! Am I look that old? :(

HOMEFUCKINGWORK

HOMEFUCKINGWORK

Homework makes us hate learning. Agreed? I want some time for relaxing now. I always procrastinate. Cause of what?! Coz I got loadsss loadsss HELL LOADSSSS of homework. And guess what

Sport science's teacher : Hantar homework hari rabu ni! Tak hantar siap! Sapa taknak hantar, tak payah datang!

Perdagangan's teacher : Okay siapkan nota awak semua sampai tajuk hari ni. Besok pagi selasa, saya nak ada atas meja saya!

Basic economy's teacher : Siapkan nota awak sampai tajuk yang kita belajar sekarang. Pastikan semua siap!

Mathematic's teacher : Maths 1 until 3 ada dekat awak kan? Pass up tomorrow selasa okay!

Yes homework that i need to pass up before this Wednesday. How could you guys said that we need to pass up in the same time? Give us a time lah

Sport science, perdagangan, basic economy, mathematic

Huh jom kita mati sekarang

You complete me,

You entered the door without a hello

Steal each and a little part inside

Without ask for the permission

Without even ask for forgiveness

I’ve never opened up to anyone before

Before you entered the door,

I was just alone in the empty room

With an empty heart, with an empty soul

I am nothing

But there was something different about you now

I find out before you came into my life

You gave me something so special

You gave me something so brilliant

You’ve added something in my heart

You’ve remove all of the empty part

Filled it with a pure love

That come from the very heart

Your love have taught me something

I use to think love was just a curse

But when you come into my life

Things have changed just in a blink of an eye

Thanks for coming in this life

You’ve bring a thousand of star

You’ve bring a thousand of rainbow

You’ve bring the joy along the way

You complete me in everyday

9 Months, 2 Weeks & 4 Days

By Aini Azhar

9 July 2011

Whining

Being a daily school student during high school years now, I never actually attending everyday the exception of vacations or camping. No best record for this past 6 months. Except for January, I felt like kinda terlebih rajin. That’s my best record so far. Not now. My attempt to come to school everyday is epic fail. I really did try and I’m doing this now. Believe me please!

Alright I guess I was just too lazy for the school especially when the homework piled up like a mountain. Well, as a student what’d u expect right? This is really exhausting. Sometime I just leave the unnecessary homework. *Moaning and whining now

My last year of school is next year. I guess, I’ll miss my high school so much when the school is end. High school was fun actually. This’s our comfort zone. After school is end, we have to build all that up back in our own. Have to be quick, make the first move. Yes, we have to do this for the better future. Though I only sixteen now, but well I think I need to list all of my plan when I graduate school. Even mommy did ask me last week which college I’m gonna choose after school

Uhhhh mom, still early

P/s : Allaah bersamaku, Allaah melihatku, Allaah mendengarku. Katakan itu pada hati, cukuplah ia sebagai wasiat taqwa di Sabtu ini. #sabtu #islam

May good bless all of us today

Peace be upon you :)

Lil things that make me happy

1. Spending time with my family <33

2. My best friends! <33

3. My baby boyfriend :’)

4. My kitties!

5. Laughing till my tummy hurts!

6. When I pee in pools ( Don’t laugh )

7. My wedding ( One day ) :P

8. When I see old people dance! How COMEL! Admit? Haha

9. Sending wrong messages to people :P

10. Making joke and then laugh at myself

11. Asking people hard question and looking at them

12. Insulting herself. Hoho

13. Sulk for no reason

STORY #236

I’m still here managing my blog. Some of you maybe gonna feel weird about me. Haha suddenly appear in this blog instead of being gone before. I kinda rajin this past few weeks to post

Let's not question my being gone, shall we? Well as you know, Blogging is a very stressful activity and it needs total attention. Yet period. Never mind. I was so lost today. Woke up and didn’t know what to do. I watched some funny movies and a few dramas ( The things that makes me cry today ) After that, finding my novel that I bought last month. The pages being just black and white. Put it back in the rack. Haha! Tried to cleaning up my room ( I did it only once in a while ) Only cleaning my so called ‘ heartyyy boxes ‘. Then ended up with ‘ Damn lazy weh ‘ I sat down and stuffed all the junk food. Now what? Talk about mommy. She was so mad that I constantly don’t even do a house chores. Haizzz but let's not talk about that one

Here is my To Dos for the holiday

1. Stuffed all the junk food! ( Not appetizing at all )

2. Get fat? I already am! :D

3. Finish all the essay, that brilliant idea of mine, well I mean all the things!

4. Texting, finding more cute, sweet lilly billyy words. Hee :P

There isn't really much choice of things to do today. Anyway, haihh a thousand sigh. Malaysia vs Taiwan the result is same. Four and four! :( I feel horrific! But still, thanks to god. Malaysia wins first match even the second one, hmm that's just too sad. Salute and respect goes to both teams

P/s : Ke stadium tomorrow. Welly welly :P

Culture shock

Should I explain to you guys why with the title? Might I point out the definition of today’s title?

After 6months of school! Did I mention to you guys the reputation we had now? It annoys me that I need to get it out of my head. It’s all gonna gone bad. Explaining to everybody would only cause dire consequences. Oh yes, just as what I said, all of the things better left unsaid now. All of us know it. Well, just forget and forged the new one. I’m sorry for suddenly bring up this unnecessary thingy mingyy. Well, I’m facing this now and I don’t even know what should I do

Relax.

Breathe.

Life’s too good. You could see the crystal clear difference and the gap between us. The noisiest, wackiest smartasses around. I remember when I’m in Form 3 last year. You could see that the students studied real hard to get their good result for PMR. And this year, I learned a lot. From bad to good and good to bad. I gained so much and in the same this I lost a few. What’d you expect right? It was overwhelming to be described with words. I’m gonna get to know more and gonna created memories of this year

P/s: Sorry for the kinda emo post untuk beberapa entry. You know right, i had my bad day this week

When you just don't expect something like this to happen

Learn the unusual things when you’re down. I’m down now. I mean really down. I guess, everyone know it. It still feels the same every time. And yet, different. But slowly, it's evolving. What could I do? i just had one stupid experience today with my friends. But it was just, hm whatever, Well, I was sitting in my class waiting for the bell to ring. 12.30pm! I can’t wait to go home. That was my heaven. Planning my activity as usual

Online and trip to lala land! Haha

I couldn’t concentrate in my class today. I didn’t pay attention that much till I heard my friend called my name. Noni said ‘ Dah sampai mana dah kau ni nini ‘ Hahaha ops sorry. I was thinking of some other things instead of paying intention. My fault yeah. Sorry teacher even though I know that I always do this when I’m in the class. ( I really hope Pn. Rahayu doesn’t read my post! ) Cause now, you know that i just had absurdly funny conversations ( Not so funny actually )

P/s : I couldn’t understand what I was feeling. I wanted it to end quickly. You know right? That’s all. Kerana mulut, segalanya binasa

A bunch of lala

Had to entertain an idiot. Knowing you is a big problem to us. Please, make up your mind first before made any speculation and think first before you speak. Every words that may come out from you would be a problem. Do you know that? And do you care about that? Nearly separate us once. I love them as much as I love my family. And I hate you as much as I hate a dog. You just like a dork bark. Bark for no reason. I was like, OMG! That can be annoying to me. Go get the hell out. You just makes me laugh till i feel like crying. Seriously, hey do you know that? Well, my purpose to write this cause I don’t think that I can tahan anymore. Though I still fragile, but well I have to write. Just wait till that day come and you’ll get what you really deserve. To the freaks I’m talking about now ( Even though I don’t think you actually read this ) but, well I don’t care

Revaluation. No, things have changed!

Do you remember when you were still a kid?
Do you know how good it feels?

1. When your mommy and daddy still hold your hand while walking in the road and walking to your class. To think of that time when you could let your hair long and not worry to have a haircut. I just remember when daddy said don’t cut your hair. Let it long let it long! I listen to daddy said as well. When I’m in standard 1, on the first day, teacher said to all the students to draw some cute/funny pictures. That time when mommy still in my side. Stood beside the window watching me in the class. I said, ‘Mommy, pls came quickly and help me’ Mommy said, ‘ Draw by your own. You’re 7 years old. Still young and could learn everything now’ I listen to mommy said as well. But now, we no longer gonna listen to them. No, things have changed!

2. When you had a bunch of good friends when you were still a kid and when you were in primary school. We cry and play together everyday. We’ll asked daddy or mommy to bring them along wherever we go. Hey yes, I did it when I was a kid! Experienced and spending some quality time with my friend every minute. But as time goes by, we’re gonna get new new new and new friend each year. Old friendships that stood the test of time in primary school/kid were broken and new ones were forged. Do you realize that? No, things have changed!

3. When you were still in kindergarten and primary school, learning is our best time in a day. We respect teacher as our parents. Love them as we love our own mommy/daddy. Listen to them whatever they gonna said. But sadly, we no longer treat our teachers now with the respect that we gave to our old teachers. Replace it with the other thing. I HATEEE THIS TEACHER SO MUCH. You realize that? Good. No, things have changed!

Well, don’t tell me you never did that. You’re a big liar! I admit, I was one of that. I know that, we thought love would last forever. But things have changed. All of this happen when we were still a kid, when we were naive. Not now! :( We rebelled more than we did before. It felt good to defy someone. How I wish, I could change things. Wished that we less fighting and more listening. Well, it’s all by ourself. Reevaluate all of the things we did now. Fikir

" Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again. So when life gets tough you can just play pretend. I wanna go back to when Santa did exist. When your daddy was the only boy you ever kissed. When Disney World was the best place to be. When the only movies you could see were rated G. When your biggest problem was learning to write your name and people didn't change and your friends were the same. And every time you were sad or you had a bad day. You could just run to mommy and it would all be okay. I wanna go back to no hurt and no pain... just laughter. When everyone always lives happily ever after "

Something soooo

So firstly, I wanna start with errr okay I’m gonna introduce to you guys my 7 gila kentang friends!

1. Hidayu Saharudin

2. Ros Amalina Ros Suhaimi

3. Fadila Moran

4. Nur Aini Hassan

5. Syahirah Kamaruzaman

6. Nurul Ain Ibrahim

7. Juwairiah Che Dhapat

( Eh asal aku tiba2 bold nama korang ni? Tak rasa honor ke? :P )

Amaran keras : Sila ingat nama2 mereka ini jika anda mengenali mereka dengan lebih mendalam. Di dalam erti kata lain, lebih rapat. Something bad gonna happen. Baik jauh2. This’s a warning!

They were the mastermind of today’s case. Terima Kasih banyak banyak yang tak terhingga dan tiada tahap untuk semua hadiah anda ye. I’m so terharu here! 16 tahun hidup dan this is the first time dapat present sebegini. What’d you expect guys? Mesti fikir benda yang paling special kan? Of course lah special. Here’s the pic

Seeee. Benda pertama yang mungkin akan terlintas di fikiran anda ( Bukan saya )

‘ Hadiah yang kecil tu mesti gelang tak pun cincin ‘

‘ Yang panjang hijau tu mungkin perfume, kasut, ataupun sebaliknya ‘

‘ Yang besar tu of course lah baju. Baju dalam? Barangkali ‘

Jadi, mari membuka ketiga tiga hadiah tersebut

Dan...

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Jeng3!

Secara kebetulan!

Sikat : Sikat kecilku baru sahaja hilang ( Terima kasih bagi sikat )

Sabun : Aku suka sabun tu! Fav kot ( Terima kasih bagi sabun )

Spongebob! : Ni aku taktau nak buat apa. Bagi kucing main je ( Terima kasih bagi spann )

Minyak gamat : Tau tau je. Rumah aku dah berkurun takde gamat. Mak bapak aku mesti suka ada yang baru ( Terima kasih bagi minyak gamat )

Ubat gigi : Haaa yang ni rugi. Aku baru je beli kat giant dohhh. Siap dapat free gift mangkuk lagi

Kotex 28cm overnight : Aku dah nak period! Thanks!