27 February 2010


This is beautiful. i hope people all over the world wake up and unite. I play this song more than twice. almost 10times. but yet, i didn't feel like boring when i hear this. yeah, it automatic play in my head when i stop it. how great this song. What ever god you pray at, may that god bless gaza and all palestinians. We are all Gaza. So, be strong. Amen xxx

26 February 2010

hey lunatic

hey sorry for the title. i purposely write subject that cheating all of you. HAHA. now, i downloading photoshop cs2. it's free yeah. that's why i download it. anyway, i was shocked with myself lately. i think that i'm interest in photography all of sudden. now, i try to use photoshop as my shop. LOL. but i still keep this blog for the time being. this is place for me to being so lunatic or what ever. keep reading, guys xxx


Oh god, don’t know why I still recall about last night case. It’s when my friend sent me message. I was so angry and can’t think too much. I decided to ignore those message. Hell yeah, that’s not so important. People just can’t understand what we’re talking. aren’t them? Oh yeap. Of course I’m deeply upset. Her message was like these ‘ I know,these time is your intention.dont said that you’re unremarked.you reason was not accepted’ What The Fuck !! I have tried to hold my head high and try to stick it out thinking something will be around the corner but yet. it's still the same. My only hope is she’ll change her attitude. Whereas, she promised me one thing before. It doesn’t working nowadays. All is false promise. I am also a really argumentative person. Yeah I admit it. It just because I want thing to work out. Okay fine. Now, I want it to be stop for a moment. May be, I should close my eyes for a sec, turn to silent mode. Hope that someone would break the silence. nevermind

25 February 2010

entry in malay

today's entry rasa macam nak cakap melayu. but see, i mix it jugak. whatever lah kan =')

saja je nak typed in malay. seriously memang intention. let all people faham what i write just now. biarkan semua orang terasa. terasa yang amat2 terasa. i have one question? kenapa orang selalu berbangga dengan diri sendiri? yes i know. we have to proud with diri kita sendiri indeed. but ni bangga dari segi berlagak lah senang nak cakap kan? awak slim? awak pretty, cute or whatsoever i don't bloody care. i have my own life, style. biar la apa yang aku buat. as long as i'm happy. i accept who i am. i don't want to judge myself. tu tandanya i'm not thankful with what god gave me. terima kasih, tuhan. i'm proud with myself. rasa sedih tu sometime memang ada. tipu lah kalau i said, i feel so gayyy with those comment. bad comment indeed. tapi aku terima semua comment actually. comment yang bermakna teguran. teguran tu membina. so, aku terima all teguran even benci sekali pun. tegur jela. tapi tak faham with a few people, kenapa nak berlagak sangat? actually, awak tu berlagak sebab awak perasan awak dah pandai, awak perasan awak tu cantik. kan kan? bukan nak mengata. this's just comment. comment from affected people. but apa2 pun, i proud with myself. that's my only word. cakap lah apa2 pun. yang aku pasti, tuhan tu selalu menolong hambanya kan? lagi2 yang in hardship. so, tak payah la apa2 pun. aku bangga dengan pencapaian aku sekarang. especially, with my study. i managed to sit in top class. i try to improve myself last year. thanks god. it's working. and terharu dah sangat terharu. tak boleh diungkap kan dengan kata2 when i see myself now. i try to be better than last year. and even better. i ignore umpatan, cacian, ejekan. that's not important. that's word from people yang perasan bagus. yang dengki lah senang cerita =') so beware people. slim, pretty, cute, rich or whatever tu tak ada apa2 makna. improve your mind please =') though mom also ada kutuk jugak. tapi mak, ada 1thing je you tak tau. i don't care if i'm not pretty like everyone, tak macam one of my sibling. mak, kejayaan tu lagi penting daripada slim ke cantik. that's why sometime orang bantah on what you said. it's totally wrong actually. i don't really care. yang penting tu, hati kita. if kita tak pretty like everyone, but we still have kind heart, WE ARE PRETTY ! aku nak success. tu yang aku study betul2 sekarang ni. at school, no main2 in class. focus is only my word in class. not anything else. thanks god, dah sampai kelas C. terima kasih, tuhanku <3 i feel like crying pulak. dah kenapa ni? but actually, entry kali ni memang aku rasa sedih. sedih dengan apa orang luar cakap even my lover. its okay. i forgive all of you since beginning lagi =')

shining armor

I had a dream last night where I was knight in shining armor who saved a handsome prince from an evil sorcerer. I don’t know if I'm ever cut out to be Princess in any way. HAHA and when while I dream, I manage to talk 'i hope this’s not dream' HAHAHA And suddenly, I woke up. And said What The Fuck !!!! so hopeless >.<>

*i saved him i think* LOL :D

22 February 2010

waitt :P

haa yeah. actually, i got my permanent place in my classroom. how happy me :D:D so, i don't have to being emotional and chaos to sit in where place. thankful x)

goodbye again !

restless, sleepless as one !

In this opportunity, i would like to share with my dearest friend about what i've do today. sleepless, restless is what i feel today. happy? oh nope. i missed to hold these feeling today because of busy's brain. can't think too much than homeworks that i have to do. i'm in trouble today. i don't know exactly on what teacher said. i was like -.- when they gave information. my brain was pregnant with information that i got. brain was restless. i'm getting crazy. okay i list down my work today

2am : i'm sleep. i'm make mistake today. i late went to sleep. so, can't sleep earlier
5.15am : i woke up with my messy hair. was in trouble. my alarm sounding. thought is anwar's alarm (this's my illusion because of too drowsy i think. i don't even know who is anwar) HAHA
* i take my towel and i entered toilet. eyes was closed. yes i violate every wall in my room
* i take a bath. around 10min. can't bath for so long. maybe i'll late
* afterward, eyes getting bigger. but i still feel like sleepy
* wearing my outfit, head scarf and get ready for the school
6.15am : i wait for my friend. after she came, we walked to our own bus stop :P then i wait for bus to fetch me. while am talked about our school holiday's activity. all is vain !
6.25am : okay bus arrived. i'm so thankful. can't bear with my leg again. arghh
7.00 : arrived to school. amir started to asked me about my ulcer. this's his important question. everytime we meet, he'll expel these question. i recover from ulcer since last month indeed. LOL
7.20am : walked to assembly plain. lazyyyyyy !!!
7.30am : walked to the class room. i couldn't walk correctly >.<
7.30 - 10.10am : my study time. oh my god ! i forgot to complete one of my subject. it's note ! but sorry teacher. i being a liar for a while. not my intention >.<>
10.10am : recess time. okay actually, i'm moody with my friends when recess time. don't know what the exact meaning of 'friend' urm never mind. as long as they happy. so i'm happy
10.10am - 1.00pm : study time and went home as usually routine :D
2.pm : i arrived at home. very restless plus sleepless because of lastnight case. rest for 5min. * take my homework and doing it for 30min
* iron my outfit and check my school things. 25min
3.00pm : take a bath once again. make up myself
3.15pm : one my way to went to my friend's home. study yeah :P
3.20pm : she angry because i late arrived. i promised to came at 3.00pm actually.haha sorry
3.20 - 5.50pm : study babe let's study !
6.00pm : on my way to went back home. ohlalala.
6.05pm : already at home. take my homework and do it
* i got the damn thing here. thought is my exercise book missing. so, i do it once again. then i feel like wanna check in my bag. and tarraaa. oh suck !
6.10pm : after i snarl and can't bear with myself, so i sleep
8.00pm : i woke up. i don't want to woke up. but i force myself. hishh what happened :P

*so this's my schedule for today. restless isn't it? yeah veryy restless. i post these news almost 12am. sleep? oh ya. i didn't feel like sleep :P but i have to force myself

Tomorrow have to wake up in early morning. 5am? arghhhhhhh

goodbye !

20 February 2010

Dear Human,

I don’t understand with a few people that simply judge god’s creation. He’s our creator and not for us want to evaluate all his creation. We have our own brain. I’m pretty sure that you can think it by your own. Hope it’s obvious. I have to being so outspoken here. I know, I’m the one who have evaluated one of his creation. Yeah I realize. So, I don’t want people make mistake anymore. Fat, black, short, ugly, retard or whatever they still a human. Human that have a brain, feeling and mind to think. For me, people that simply judge is animal. Animal that don’t have mind to think. Instead for me, animal also can think it. At least, they know how to respect their own species. Hope you got message what I try to deliver. Sorry if i slip of the tongue

16 February 2010


When the kitten gone, i start to feel loss including my family. i know that this's our problem why we disengage her. the story began here. it's when my kitten urinate and defecate in my living room. of course we angry. my living room dirty because of faeces that's scattered. i don't know it happen because at first, my kitten know how to urinate and defecate in toilet. maybe she angry because we put her in toilet every night when we wanna sleep perhaps. We do it because of constructive reason indeed. afterwards, i start to open my house door to force kitten go. i can't bear with these anymore. and haha something happen. when my kitten go, we start to retake. so many times like these. i talk to my family 'better you don't let our kitten go, if you throw and retake' :D everyday, it recurring the same case. i'm so 0.0 . so, yesterday when i went to the mines, i running across my kitten. she's seeing water. looks very cute. then i snarl my kitten. i didn't expect that she know me well. i'm so touched. i advocate my kitten just 2weeks. of course i didn't expect these happen. my kitten want to follow me. i take and put my kitten position in distant place.she was running to me until she look a bunch of children and her running stopped. i'm glad.after all done, i'm going back home. i find for my kitten and i couldn't see her even her footmarks. i find in field, stairs and yet still same. i couldn't find the clue. i was like x'( time increasingly gone. too many question play in my mind suddenly. 'where she will sleep tonight? does she eaten already? she wouldn't eat by dog? she would fight to?' so many question.but i know, time has passed away.i still didn't have a clue where my kitten go. i can't rotate those time when i gave living and care that she deserve. my teacher always told to my class that we're not crazy if we talk to animal.you don't know which actually they understand what you said. they will listen to you like they is your best friend. they understand you more than human understand and they will feel what you talk. that's the fact. so animal, even if i can't talk in your words, but we can still understand each other. i don't understand you exactly. but i know it's your voice. you used to be part of my life before. forgive me for all my fault previously, babe. i realize know. hope that kind people will take you and giving life that you deserve. grow up nicely, babe. if there is good fortune, we would meet again of course. I really felt your loss this time. i miss you more than words i can say. <3 =')

12 February 2010

ulcer attack me !

Actually, this is my new story. But now, i getting well already. I still interest to share with you x) I remember how pain that day. I can't eat,drink and sometime is talk. For over 1 week i having these. I can't even touch my mouth. Though i only got 2ulcer in mouth. That time, i feel like i wanna check once again to find the exact. But when i check, that's not 2 but 8ulcer in mouth. No wonder, i feel so sick and smarting. it's very killing me that time. i told my dad to buy one medicine. a good medicine as i know. i used it half weeks. still not show a sign it wanna cure. i feel so ergghh. very unsatisfied. i search in google about ulcer. suddenly, i saw one title that say 'ulcer cause die' oh my god ! am i gonna die soon?? oh god !! i still haven't make service charity!! i click it, but its ulcer in stomach that cause die apparently :p i asking my teacher, she say if i'm not getting well more than 2weeks, i shud go to check. it may cause other disease like mouth cancer or STD. I'm being 0.0 !! Then i pray and pray, apologies to my friend. i wanna make a sin confession. before i having my ulcer, i and amir (my friend) gossip about our close friend coz of dental fracture. it's in front of her x) after a few days, i having ulcer. amir also infected the same thing. Afterwards, i meet my friend that i gossiped about her directly, i said 'soryy so much, pls forgive me' then i getting well. i can make a conclusion now. don't gossiped about people.u will realize and god will reply back on what you do x)


I never being boast to the people and even strangers. But i got one friend that really boast. Real boast. Everyday, i will feel like i wanna give her one kick to make her realize about her wrong doings. People won't like you if you like these every single minute. Come one friend, even me also can't bear with your attitude. She always say that she is clever. Clever than other people. She believe that people is totally stupid and piglet if they couldn't answering the easiest question. For me, not everyone can answer with split second and it even me. I still remember her dialog to me. The case is when my teacher ordered her to read the paragraph. After all done, she said 'teacher will being so stupid because she ordered me to read. I won't read paragraph poorly. I'm clever' second case is when my classmate couldn't answering question quickly 'why they so bodoh? the question were very easy' puh-leasee my friend. Don't being so boast. God will show show consideration to you. I told these because i love you as my friend. I want all my friend managed to enter university life like everyone. Don't make god so angry on you my friend. Think these :]

curse dayy

Today, i woke up with joy and happy feeling. I expect everything will be ended today and expect that today is more better than yesterday. I prepared to went to school in early morning. With my own spirit, i came down the stairs. I waited for school bus to fetch me. My leg getting tired. But yeah, it's okay because everyday i'll through the same thing. Afterwards, when bus arrived to school, i was so happy. Like a crazy lady got her handbag. LOL. I walked with my friend while we gossiped about our own story. Everyone start to looked to us. Seems like they wondering why we so energetic perhaps. When we talked to each other, prefect ordered us to make a queue. geez :/ Then, when everything settled, i walked to my classroom. sweat* I laugh and said WHAT A HAPPY DAY ! Chinese already holiday. So, just a few people left in classroom. I was so 0.0 . I can being so focused today. Very focused indeed. Suddenly, when my english teacher in my class, she gave a lot of homework. We were so stuck in our head. Our guessed are totally wrong before. Feel like we can't get the rest enough during these chinese new year holiday. But.... Though this year, i'll having my examination, i still being so stubborn to complete my homeworks. Now, i start to arrange shadow. Hope that i can used my time nicely these school holiday. I shouldn't waste my time like everyday :]

06 February 2010

my burden

This year was my busy year. No time to relax. Everyday, i have to facing with so many assignment that i don't want honestly. Nothing to do than just accept and do even it forced. Oh Well, this's my second month and yet i still enjoy with my school life so much :D Actually, this month is kinda bored for me. It's a busy and tough month. I have to read a lot of book, and being rush to complete all assignment. 10 left. Don't know how to make it. I'll try my best. First of all, i have to start drawing my project paper. Well, starting the project paper is not that easy. I have to focused and analyze the title. If i wasn't do, i will deflected from the title :D:D The project i choose this year require a lot of reading and i don't read much as you see. For now, i have to force and force myself thou i don't want !!!

tiring program

Today 5 February 2010, i went to SMK Cheras Jaya for being one of member's support. My school have 1 program that name 'penghayatan 1 malaysia' not so bad. It's good for school members because in my school have multi racial. I love all the dance and dancers. I really love chinese dance actually. They so energetic. Malay and Chinese also not bad x) Well, this is my first time join these program. Very satisfied and i very enjoy these moment. Segment that so embarassing is when station RTM came and open their video to record these situation. They record all pupil in front of plain. I sit in front of these honestly. HAHA. With a bad head scarf, with my speech, with my 1 malaysia's cap, and the most worse thing is my face getting black with a hot sunlight ! x'( Afterwards, i watch 1 dance from 'pendidikan khas' so cute of them x) Finally, program disperse. Hope that i managed to watch these program one again next time. if god willing =')