Speaking silently

IN WORDS

Moving on isn’t easy as I thought it could be. Well for once, I really did. I’m soooo soo proud with myself. But then I tend to go through a range of emotions. Everything has become such a blur. That sucksss! I’ll be honest to you guys, it ain’t easy for me. I nearly cried through every song I play. Mostly the song I used to play when I still in ‘colours’, all the lyrics that I used to send to him of what we were. Each one made me think and reminiscing the past. I couldn’t control. I ended up with crying. That’s the only thing I could do to express and let out my sadness. Why I felt all the natural urges come back right now? Is it a bad sign for a normal human being.. just like me? I was forced to accept my life now. At least I try. I’d think moving on which mean putting the past behind us. Just like that. Simple and easy. I should being strong and looking forward. People gave said to me that and maybe myself too. I realize It's so easy to say words that seem soothing to the ears. Spreading words about how unhappy you are when the fact you couldn’t confront. Letttt goo! Let go what? His memories? His voice? His presence? Is that easy? When I woke up for the first time when I got no colors anymore, I realize that I have been missing something. Something like feeling. And at that time, I took my phone besides me. Look all of his serene and smiling face. 'I am never going to see this face again :')' I will miss you budak smelly. Someday soon we will meet again. If god willing :’D

Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am...isn't me

P/s : Happy EID, budak. Have a blast one xx :'))