08 November 2016

2 years and 5 months πŸ’Œ

Yesterday marked the END of the diploma year. It feels just like yesterday i enrolled to this place, and yesterday my struggle was finally ENDED. All of the things that kept me stuck is OVER πŸ€—

Here's a dedication post to my parents (they may not know this, i wont tell it straight) πŸ’Œ

This is a very bumpy journey for me. Here is the story. A month after my enrollment, i had this sudden thought that i want to quit studying before it even started! The thought of my past friends might be graduating earlier from me brought me down. I was emotionally unstable at that time. I could not think about my future at all. All i know was its too late to be a student, what if i failed in the middle, what if i had to repeat then my parents must pay for it? Since i was in a private college, everything cost money here. I never want to burden my parents, not at all πŸ˜” I had few discussions with my parents. Told them about this. Surprisingly, they kind of supported every decision i made (thank Allah. I could have done better as a daughter). I know, deep down they really want me to have AT LEAST a certificate of diploma. But they understand my struggled, i never heard my dad's complaining about this. I feel bad if i really work out on this decision! This might be my second time quitting studies. The amount of money flying are just too difficult to think of πŸ’Έ

Since i don't want all of this to be wasted, i started to think about what should i do if i really want to quit. I need to have passion in something like baking cooking whatsoever. But that sudden thought appeared again. I told my parents and my friends i want to learn more about Islam (madrasah etc). Ofcourse, they are the happiest! Mom even told me that i could even study both if i wanted to (such a supportive parents i had 😭). They really want to best for me, who doesnt right? I hold on to that decision for a while. I make way for myself to at least try this semester one. I continued with my study right after that. Amazingly, my result turned out to be very good. Not saying it was the best but Wallahi, i never thought about it 😭 What more should i asked for ya Allah, is this really the journey you planned for me all this while? Is this really the journey you planned after i faced so many ups and downs during my school time and my 6 months journey in Kedah? Is this it? I couldn't bring myself to breath right after that ya Allah. Thank you so much for making this way for me. The thought of quitting immediately disappeared after that πŸ€—

I advised myself that i should have done better for the next semester in which I AM. My result kept getting higher semester by semester. From semester 1 to the semester where i currently ended, its all worth it. I kind of becoming narcissistic for a while. I kept thanking and praising myself πŸ˜‚ Not to forget, to the one and only one Allah SWT. ☝🏼️Above all, i dedicate this for these two support system, my parents πŸ‘¨πŸ»πŸ‘©πŸ» Mak Ayah, you might not know this, i came this far because of you both. I kept thinking at one time, how many disappointment do i need to repay you. Most of the time, i kept thinking about the amount of money flying πŸ’ΈπŸ˜‚ Although you never said this straight to my face but i know deep down, its very worrying for you to think about my future.

Thank you to the sleepless nights, thank you to the not-so-amazing friends i had BHAHAHA (noen, syera as well as the other 2), thanks to my lecturers, thank you thank you thank you thanks ALOT for helping me throughout this journey! For your information, i'm not yet graduating. I still have one more semester to go which is Industry Training! The thought of dedicating this suddenly lingered on my minds so i think i need to expressed it into words πŸ’Œ

Bu-bye International Islamic College 🏣
See ya in the next few months! πŸ‘‰πŸ»πŸ‘ˆπŸ»