22 December 2010

Freakkinng out ! Wish me luck

Oh and YESSSSS finally tomorrow is 23 December. So, as u all know, tomorrow is PMR result day. Less than 24hours from now. If only u can feel how fast my heart beat inside. My brain is spinning. Seriously it feel like u’re describing something but yes I’m describing and slowly imagine about everything. I’m sure now, students and parents can be seen nervously waiting for the result on tomorrow. So do i. Well, I’m freaking out :/ Yaallah I really hope I did good. I don’t mind how many A’s i’ll get but at least, I don’t get an ‘ E ‘

1.Maths : It’s impossible to get an A for this. At least C or D its enough
2.History : Like seriously, I almost cried when I checked my answer and same as math, at least C or D
3.Geography : Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm same like above ;(
4.Science : This time, I couldn’t believe that I could answer all the question well. I mean, it takes only a few minutes for me to answer it. Unbelievable :O It’s not the same as I did before. Soooo isit a good sign? Insyaallah :’)

This 4 subject is the toughest subjects for me especially math. I hate numbers :/ The other 4 subjects, is hm yeah yeah. I really really did so well. I can get an A. Nvm Insyaallah everything will be fine. Lets just hope and pray for the best :’)

21 December 2010

It's been awhile

*Didn’t have a time to update my bloggie coz I’m move to tumblr :D

Life has been so great now. Nothing’s change. But a feeling still in trouble. I can’t wait for next week to come. Don’t ask me why coz it’s kinda personal. Haha LOL next weeeekkkk PLS COME FASTER. Btw, now i count the days in second and minutes. Only 2 more days to go before the exam result. Scary wehhh. I’m nervous since a couple of days ago. It even more when I knew that it will come out December 23. This Thursday :/ 1 thing that I hate right now is when I told people I was goin to have a nervous breakdown about it, they simply told me

‘You don’t have to worry about that. Just PMR ‘

‘They’re not important. Stop thinking. You’ll have done fine ‘

Suck it up ! How come la I can’t be worry about it. You told me it’s JUST PMR ! Okay now I told u, is it good if I get 8E? Then what ur gonna said after that? Do u want me to be in the lower class? Come on, think before u speak. I’m pretty sure, ur thought would change in the blink of an eye if it really happen. ( I don’t wish it ) But pls, make up ur mind. Never mind :/ good luck to everyone xx

To anyone who have a tumblr, do follow mine


13 December 2010

Dear December, pls be good to me :)

Only a few days to go before the date and it’s gonna be NEXT WEKKK !! Dear god, please make my December wishes come true. I feel so anxious all the time right now. Only god knows :/ Nevermind. No matter what happens, Strengthen your faith more than ever. Okay okay aini. Strengthen ur heart and soul start from now. Plssss :@

I just can't believe that it's been December now. Like seriously, i just can't believe this. Time flies very fast !! There's one and only my big thing this month. My exam's result. Still waiting for it. I do get real depressed at times right now. I really hope that things work out fine

For all of you who're waiting for result out there, wish you all the best. Don't give up coz i won't :) Pray hard and you'll get everything you ever wanted in the end. Insyaallah :)

03 December 2010

Days, Weeks, Months yeay 2010 :')

A year full of memories

So, 2010 is gonna come to an end. Loads of things has happened this year. Good and bad ended up being very the best. Full of many adventure, memory, experience which is very nice-EST ! i should not forget this. January 2011, is the beginning to a new life. Let go of the old book and start to open a new book. I am so grateful my life was not too difficult this year. Everything was just fine.

Start a new life

Let the past be the past

2010, the best of everything. Alhamdulillah syukur :’)

Result day 24 or 28Dec?


let's scream out loud :'( result will come out. Before or after christmas i'm not sure. Hm nothing to say. I'm scared to death right now :/ How i wish i'm still in January now ! Anyway, i just checked about my ' kelayakan to sekolah teknik ' yesterday. The result was disappointing me

Don't know what to say now. Words can't describe my feeling. Nvm Aini, just smile through the tears :')

28 November 2010

Finally it's over

So the war was over yesterday :)

I feel much more better right now. Alhamdulillah. I was having a bad day for almost 2days. Nothing much to say. Just I’m happy to be like this. LOADSSS of LURVEE :’)

I am strong on my own but with God I am even stronger, and never alone.

25 November 2010

Fading away :')

Something is bothering me recently but I don’t know what. It’s killing me slowly ! Urgh I wish I could turn back the time, I wish I could go out right now. Sooooooooooo depressed I feel like crying out loud :’( i always remind myself it’s not worth to sad coz of certain people. I know and I shouldn’t be that. Yesterday was a really bad day. I spent my time just for thinking thinking thinking. While I am gaming also, my head couldn’t stop thinking of those thingy. I felt like I’m dead for hours :/ I turned off my phone for hours last night. I’m not willing to read the incoming message. When I turned it back on, I received 10 text messages. I didn’t reply all the messages. Just act like I’m sleep but actually I’m not. Hmm. I feel completely stupid, confused and alone. Sounds daft :/ Pretty much discouraged. Others time just plain stupid. I clearly remember about having a moment of clarity in which I was enjoy myself happy with my surroundings. All that has passed. I was standing in another situation right now. Much difference than before. I'm still trying to familiarize myself with this even thou it was harder. Yeah it even more than that for sure. I need someone to talk to. don't know what the hell is wrong with my head now

Dear god, please guiding me through this. Show me the better ways to get what I want and to make things clearly without hurting others, please gently open my mind and gently open my heart, please gimme a peace of mind. Amin~

Miss you~ I am sorry. Xxxooooxxx :’)

15 November 2010

Oh-em-G !

School has finished for 2010. I'm sure most of us are just glad its over now aite? Okies :P I’m currently waiting for PMR result to come out this December. Terrified? Ofcoss ! Hope everythin is gonna be okay. I shouldn’t say this right now. Nvm. 2010, it may be my last year in SMKCJ and may be the last year for my friends in this school. Who knows what will happen. For the sake of god, now I can already feel the feelings of loss, feelings of longing, even if everything is not happening yet. LOL this’s just normal human feelings :) Whatever it is, Happy Holiday ! :D

The best school, The best playground =)

06 November 2010

Piercing effect

Ohh I’m so dead after watched this video just now. Yuckie ! That’s really worst. I got a lobe, helix and forward helix piercings. Used a gun. Thanks god my ears came out fine after piercing. To be honest, I’ve done a helix piercing more than 5times. It doesn’t really hurt much since I’ve done it so many times. When I was 12years old, I’m started to be addicted to piercing.

So one night, I told to my sister that I want a helix piercing and others part. We went to one place, and I’ve got my 5 lobes and 2 helix piercings. All seven at the same time. Can u believe it? Darn it I can’t believe. I was only 12years old, still young and I have 9 piercings ! Both ears was hurt at the night. My ears lobe and helix were swollen especially at the helix parts. REALLY REALLY HURT ! I felt like fever and I have no energy. That was the effect for me. It took a week for my piercing to heal but helix is really different. Even it’s been a year you have done it, but you’ll still feel hurt. (Just like mine now) It doesn’t take for a long time for helix’s hole to close up.

Once u try to remove your helix earrings, even just a minute it is possible for the hole to getting small. Mind it. I’ve made it many times but then I ended up with pergh menyesaaal gila. So my helix piercing now is nice. It’s been a year J It’s still hurt abit. I love this one ! After seeing this video, I was like Urgghhhh. Okay actually I’m looking forward to get more piercing. I love industrial piercing and and andddd wtv. But I don’t think I’ll make it. So guys, piercing with a gun isn’t good. Many effect that you can get and occur. I was just fortunate my ears came out fine :)

29 October 2010

JustOctoberDisaster xx

As u can see, my entry 12 October to 22 October. It means that I haven’t blogged for like 10days. Wohoo i just forgot about it plus i have no idea what to write. There’s no new story recently. Everything is boring for sure. Ops VERYY ! Actually, I always thought about blog but then I end up with pshhhhh malas lah. Tomorrow I still got time for it. Haha.

Okay 10days isn’t a long time. But LOADSSS of things had happened to me and….. bla bla over that period. Too many events to write down here. I just feel like not really rajin to list down everything. Now, I just can’t wait for the holidays to come on 12 November. 1 month and a half. But I’m still in October right now. Nvm run for another month. Non-stop running !! JYEAH XD School is fuggin boring and annoying this October. Since the exam has been finish, the teachers organize various activity/events for PMR graduate student. Everything seemed to be crazy but I don’t deny, there’re still have some interesting activity to do. Just like my ‘ Sandwich Making Competition ‘ yesterday. Hahaha hell yeah quite fun activity. I enjoy making it. My heart sing. Oh lala ~

Allright till then. I've done writing. Time for makan and Facebook back. Night xx

28 October 2010

Heck :/

I went to school today. Oh well, as usual it kinda boring day ! Nvm it’s okay. I actually went for competition. ‘ Sandwich Making Competition ‘ sounds cool aite? Haha yeah it was. This competition based on our skill, creativity, hygiene and cooperation. So around 8am, the teachers called all the participant to gathered in the school hall for the briefing. Just for 30mins. Afterwards, we started to make it. We only got 2hours for it. After everything was done, the judgers start to comment and taste it. ( Nervous part. LOL ) my group were so glad ! All the teachers liked it very much ! They commented on how delicious the sandwich was n the decoration. But urm unfortunately I’m not winning. A bit disappointed but still it was okay. Still proud we’ve done a pretty god jobs :P I’ve tried my best !

Tangan Ayu. Sibuk :P

22 October 2010

Padang Besar, Perlis

I went to Padang Besar, Perlis for 3days. 18October till 20October. It was good and i enjoy very much even thou i'm super tired. As hell. LOL I'm riding the train to Perlis and it took 12hours to arrived there. Can u imagine?! :/ But nvm. Great experience. Shouldn't complain much :) Thanks to anyone who has prayed for my journey. Alhamdulillah I'm safe :)

* Thanks to Pakcik Zainal for the picture

12 October 2010

I’m Jolly Over !!

My exam has finished. JYEAHH I’m super duper happy as hell ! It’s a great time to enjoy myself with things. OHHHH ANYWAYYY Hello Facebook, Blogger, Myspace etc. I’m back XD

27 September 2010

Hello PMR

I haven’t been able to update my lovely bloggie. I’ve been busy with school stuff, exam and my badly lovely life. Alright to be honest, I’m super stressed up with school now. My mind Is blank all of sudden. Now, I’m having ‘ Gerak Gempur ‘ in my school. It’s like the last trial for students before the actual exam begin. Penilaian Menengah Rendah ! Today I’ve got around 20paper. All is test and I need to do it. But so unfortunate I haven’t do it yet. Geez :/ Now only 8more days to go. I haven't studied a single one of subjects yet. Pheww This isn’t a lazy case. Don’t think it pls ! I’m still tension about maths right now. I can’t even understand it. I hate numbers ! I literally spent the whole two periods of her class daydreaming. Same goes to Agama and History. Omaigodness. Right now I just wish that time would never have to pass. Mhm ;( No need to complain much. Nothing’s change. What can I do now is Hope and pray

Ya Allah. Ampunilah dosaku, dosa kedua ibu bapa ku, guru-guru ku dan seluruh umat islam. Sesungguhnya engkaulah yang maha pemurah. Permudahkan lah segalanya dan berkati kan lah aku Ya Allah. Sedarkan lah aku. Berikanlah aku keputusan yang sebaik-baiknya Ya Allah. Tentukanlah sebaik-baik kesudahan aku Ya Allah. Jauhi aku daripada kegagalan. Jauhi aku daripada kegagalan. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin


Goodbye Facebook/Blogger and -ers :)

I've been deactivated my facebook for awhile and i'll not posting any entry till my exam finish. Take care ya'll

21 September 2010

My supportive, My soulmate. Irreplaceable ♥

Dear Mom,

Tomorrow would be your 47th birthday. I thank to god cause you’re still here. You’ve made such a wonderful difference in my life and you’d stand by me no matter what. When I was sick, you’ll made sure that I was taken care of. She’s one whose fervent prayers have kept me safe from harm or sickness. I know I haven’t always been the best daughter but I’ll always try to do my best to make my wrong rights and not to hurting your heart. Forgive me for all the wrong doings that I have done. I know you already forgave me even I’m not telling this towards you. Thank you for always encouraging me, Thank you for always believe me, Thank you for loving me through each, every fad and phase. Thank you for everything, Mom…

Thank you so much for all your love and sacrifice. I am truly blessed,

I love you, Happy Birthday !

07 September 2010

Happy Eid folks !

Yeah guys. Only 2 more days to go and it’ll be a time for us to celebrate Hari Raya ! So, I want to take this opportunity to wish Happy Eid to everyone and forgive me if I ever made any mistake ( Awh yuhp. I made lots of mistake. LAWL)

I’m still confuse now whether I’ll celebrate my Eid at home or at Bangsar (My village). Okay I choose Bangsar cause Balakong is fuggin bored like hell. Can u imagine how the parking lot are all empty without a cars?! Only a little cars in them. If Bangsar, even thou many residents have been move to their new house (cause my village will be demolish soon.mhm) but still, I can enjoy my Eid with my lovely cousin. It's much better :)

This year’s Raya is very simple. I only bought shoes last 2days and hell yeah very cheap. 50% off. HAHA. I didn’t buy new clothes. No need to wasting lots. The others still can be used and it’s still look good. My baju kurung is black and purple. Which one should I wear in 1st day of raya? Both are good for me. I wanna wear black but have to think twice or even thrice. HAHA. I’ll go to my grandpa,grandma and my aunt’s grave. Scare if people will scold and say that’s bad. LOL

I just want to wish again to my families,teachers, friends and to all muslims,



( Zahir jelah kot kan?HAHA)

May Allah bless you on this auspicious day of Eid and may it be a new beginning of greater prosperity, success and happiness.

Have fun yeah. Till then,Bye

Sickies :'(

I hope my headache, fever and cough are going to heal soon before Eid. If nott… I’m going to die then. Hella :/

04 September 2010

Alhamdulillah *belching

I just had my sahur. I’m full and my tummy is sick. That’s very bad. Never mind. Fasting month will be end next week on Thursday

Happy Upcoming Eid Everyone :) don't too happy. Finish your puasa first. Hehe

29 August 2010

Omaigodness ♥

Killing me softly with his song My heart melts everytime i hear this. This is so much better than Mariah Carey and Archuleta's version. Fucking awesome. His voice is good. Mi laavs chu <3 :)

21 August 2010

When the love has turn into hate <--

This has happened to me. I don’t want to rake up this story but it make me crazayy all the time when I think of it. I’m confuse the hell out of you. That sucks. I hate liars so damn fucking much. Okay I know, everyone will feel it too. It is unresolved emotional baggage. Someone has cheat me with a false story ( no need to tell ). Everything I love was a lie and the bad outweighed the good. Just for your information, I don’t easily get fooled. I’m pretty sure, you’ll regret sooner or later. Sorry for haven’t tell this to you. I’ve no idea plus I don’t have any courage to tell. Like seriously, I do not know what is your reason of this. And actually, my mind has a million question on it. AH whatever. I can’t put my thought into words now until I’m fully ready. Hell man xx

20 August 2010

Slam doors :'(

‘ No one get A’s for English ‘

Well said, I got A’s for English before this. But this time, I couldn’t get it again. I hate novel at the back! It brought my grades down. Actually, I still don’t know what is my grade. Since no one get A’s, I’m hoping to get B. Amen. Starting next term, it will be my final hurdle. Mhm i’m currently a nervous-wreck to get another result. I will receive it next week. Wish me luck ya my fellow friends xx

19 August 2010


Wohoo my exam gonna over. Only 1 paper left. It’s living skills. I hope it isn’t tough ! So after this, I can relax. JUST FOR AWHILE. I need to facing with the PMR this October and the result next week. Occay urm

Getting kicked out :/

I was always bad at math. After failing 6times, I feel so incapable of doing it. I hate myself so much today for procrastinating to study and revise all the title. I’m stuck in Locus and yeap transformation. How could I forgot all the formulae. I’m dead now I’m dead

I think Science is better than maths. I work hard for it. Butt urmm. I misread the instructions on the questions. I don’t wear glasses at that time and yeah I’m farsighted. Couldn’t read that small letters. Omagod ! I’m feeling so much pressure. I’m at the point now and hella too much fucking :’(

14 August 2010

It's tomorrow !

Less than 24hours, i'll sitting for trial PMR. To be honest, i'm not fully ready. Since i'm always heard from my teacher that this trial isn't easy and we have to push ourself and do our best. That's making me worst now. I'm scare if i can't score

Whatever ! Believe in Allah, believe in yourself, Aini ! You're the best more than you know. Best of luck to myself. Amen :)

10 August 2010


Happy Fasting To All My Muslim Friends :]
This holy month is here again x

07 August 2010


To my dear PMR, please don’t come. For the past few months, I heard from my mother’s that PMR would be abolished and same goes to UPSR. So, until now I still doesn’t accept any news and seems like no exam would be abolished. God, please help me. I need to rest my mind

9 more days to go. Trial :'(

30 July 2010

Misses Perak :'(

I’ve just came back from an awesome trip in Taiping. I had a fantastic time with all my friends. We visited Museum Taiping, Lake valley and many more. Although there're not many attractions in Taiping, but still, I can enjoy.

Great driver

Great place

Great accommodation

Great friends

Great bus

Great train

What more can I say? Everything was great. So now, I’m home already

What now? Back to depression ?

26 July 2010

Holidays Jyeah :D

I'll going to Taiping, Perak within 3days. 28th until 30th of July for the ' Kembara Nilam ' I can't wait to experience it myself ! I think it's fun because i will ride the train. This's my first time going to somewhere far from home, by using a train. Haha. I'm still wondering now, what should i bring? What should i wear? Mhm alim style. Is it suit for me? :P Pwahahaha. okay i'll update more soon. Will post my new entry after i come back from Perak. Goodbye and have a nice day xx

25 July 2010


Many things has happen this semester that give me big impact on my life. Especially when I was in class. Now I’m going to confess something. I hated one of my friend in class. I know, some of you whose close to me know who is. Okay this one is super long story but the whole situation was just weird. Tehee. Mhm I think, I’ve wrote about her in the last entry. But never mind yeah, I need to write again because that one is just an old post.

‘ We known each other on 2009. At that time, we didn’t close and didn’t know each other even in the same class. Alright I know that was weird :] I really hate her at first because she was involved in a disciplinary case and I thought she’s the student who are less intelligent. But, when the examination result announced, I realize that my guess was totally wrong. She’s sucha good students and yeah smart. From that, I’m start to put my own respect to her until 2010 which is this year. I’m still shocked that we’re sat in the same class. Just both of us. We started to close because we don’t know anyone in this class. That was good for me. In Mac, I’m getting mad on her because she’s the one who made my heart aching. I’m still remember when we walked home together, and she said something bad about me. Everyone were looked at me and some of them were laugh. Fucking sad. Then when I woke up at the next morning, I forgot that incident and yuhp forgave her. However, the same things happened in class. She rediculed me again. Mhm she’s suck girl. In July which is this month, I received her ridiculed again. The incident is when I was in ‘ surau ‘. She said something bad again. She stared at me and then laughed. Occay I slam doors, I kick things and I feel like crying. I fuck you so many times girl and until now. I’ve try to forgave her but I can’t. I was not doing anything wrong to her. I’m hided my feeling to everyone in class and act like we’re cool. I can’t deal with her anymore. That was the last straw. You’ve done something bad to me so many times and congrats for that. Well, I have a scar from you. Thanks for making me worst ‘

My examinations are just around the corner

The moment has come for me to pass this exam on my first attempt

Only 22days to go. Time is running so fast. 1 day just like a minute. My trial examination is coming ! I’m so anxious and worry about that. The subject that I worry the most is Mathematics. I failed math since the beginning of the test and until the last month, I’m afraid that I might failed for this trial. I’m target, I’ll get C for this trial. So it’s going to be a disaster to me if I don’t score ‘C’ this time and same goes to science. Mhm

I need to be prepare start from now. Mentally and emotionally as well. My final is very soon. 2 more months to come. But before that, I need to facing with the trial first which I scare the most. I heard from my senior that trial is more harder than the real examination. So DEPRESS. Almost all of my friends, have been target for their upcoming examination.

‘ Oh aku nak 8 A’

‘ Aku nak sekurang-kurangnya 4 A’

Dan kau aini?

Sorry friends. Don’t ask me again. I don’t have my own target for the examination and I have my own reason. I’m so afraid to do that. No matter what, I will try to do my best, and hope I will score something good.

So now, I really need someone who is kind enough to help me score in mathematic ^^

Is there any?

21 July 2010

My motto's for life

I work hard to be original. make the word sings on occasion and get the work it on time without fail



enough goodbye. mhm :'(

12 July 2010

Spain won

As you guys know, Spain won the World Cup 2010. That was awesome. THANK GOD, I don’t need to kill myself. AHAHA But I’m a bit sad because I couldn’t watch the match. Seriously, FUCKING SAD ! The game started around 2.30a.m. Yeah at the late night and ended around 4.30a.m. Hell I need to wake up around 5a.m to go to school. Pathetic.

I’M A FAN OF SPAIN ! Since I couldn’t watch, my heart worries. I’m having a nightmare. Know what? Haa I dream about football

‘ WHAT?!! :O Holland beat Spain 3-2? WTF ! :’(

But then I realized, That was just A DREAM ! Okay still, I’m worried so much ! I walked quickly to take my remote control to watch the result. Sooooooooooo




Awh HORRAYY My Spain wonnn :D ‘


11 July 2010

What the F !

Macam mana nak main game ni? I choose Spain as my team. Tapi kan, kita tak reti main :P Habis Spain kalah dengan Honduras 1-3 ! Hahah i'm sorry Spain XD

09 July 2010

Angry Mangry. Awh don't !

Did you still remember when Germany beats Argentina 4-0? Okay at that time, I was like happy. I’m jolly over. Then, I posted my status in all social network by saying all about Germany. Okay, Argentina fans were angry, and kind of hate my status hahaha

‘ Germany menang nasib ‘

Germany tak patut menang ‘

Ahhh whatsoever you wanna think, I don’t care. I know it's hard to accept the fact that Argentina Lost. Not only you, Maradona also feel the same. Ghahahha :D Everybody was saying how great Argentina are and how great Messi is. Well, I must admit that Argentina is an amazing team. But did you see how their player play? Germany team is better

02 July 2010

High on Life

I’m suffering from depression. This is real. I can see beyond the void. I’m 15 and I just don’t want to go through all this trouble. I can’t be happy, I hardly smile. What’s going on with me? I feel alone and helplessness, despair and overwhelming. I really need someone to accompany me now. Parent, friends or whoever I don’t care. I’d dread the day. I haven’t gotten much sleep lately because i’m thinking too much. I’m looking for any kind of advice. ANYTHING ! I just want to feel better

27 June 2010



today 28th June, I turn 15 xx
Alhamdulillah :)

My 15th birthday was a wonderful day to me. It meant a lot to me for you guys that had sent text messages, giving wishes and present. So unexpected you all still remember my birth date, my birth day. Words will never properly describe how much I happy. Thought nobody will care and forget my special day. I celebrate my birthday early. But still, I don’t mind and I thank to my parents for bought the chocolate indulgence cake from secret recipe. My favourite cake. So because I celebrate my birthday on Sunday( it’s today ), my assignment deadlines~

I thank to god for giving me another year, good health and many wonderful moments, blessing that I couldn’t forget forever and ever. Today, I celebrating my miracles which is my birthday =)

I say it out loud now :D

23 June 2010


I think i’ve been suffering for insomnia again nowadays. I only get needs about 3 or 4 hours of sleep per day. This’s really killing me. I super sleepy. My eyes swollen and itchy when I wake up. I have been trying to stabilize my bedtime, but it doesn’t working. I can’t sleep early. I usually sleep around 2 or 3a.m. Suck

Today’s story

I don’t know why this morning I am up way too late. It’s actually 5 minutes late. I can’t quite wake up either. I got skull pounding headache all of sudden, My kitten has been spoil my mood and I was veryyy depressed. I was a mess girl. Today, I had face my most embarrassing situation for me. My god, This was my first time in this year I slipped in front of people ! ( Slipping is my biggest fear )

My exam result were announced today. I was dreading. I’m afraid of failed since this examination wasn’t easy. I’m not satisfied. Here is the result


Bahasa Melayu – A

English – A

Agama- A



Geography – C

History – Urmm D. Haha ( flabbergasted )

I still haven’t received the result of all subjects. I’ll get another paper tomorrow and KH is next week =)

21 June 2010


Happy Daddy's day, Ayah xx =')

No one cares

I’m envy of the past, I’m tired seeing myself looking all drowning, I’m tired to act like I’m happy towards human. I realized now that life Is tough but I need to keep on trucking. Too many challenges will come. Waiting for me and I feel like I want to run. I’m not willing to get through all of it. Not in the mood and that is what I felt nowadays. I’m trying to run away from this life

If only I can change the past. Urm but I’m not god. I need my old life even though it isn’t the luxury life like I through now. My life is egregious. Nobody knows. Sometime, I want to be alone. So that I can live a life without a problem. I don’t murmur and complain. I just want to express my feeling inside. This feeling is the weakest part that grew in my heart.

I always consider everyone feeling. But I feel stupid. Stupid for not considering the feelings of self. I also feel that I am trapped in the turmoil of life which myself do not know where should I go. I cry but I don’t cry often. I’m not really happy the way it turned out. I need to keep moving forward and try to forgets.

I know this entry might be read by a thousand of soul, a thousand of heart. My apologies if this entry is said as a ungrateful girl =)

But I don’t care what people say

My mood is off =)

It was hard to drag myself into school today. But then. I realized why I came. Yawn* I’m get bored ! At times, I’m trying so hard to be happy, cheerful and enjoy in every single minute. I saw everyone were overjoy. Applause, laugh, smile. I wonder why. Haha XD

My lord, I’m totally exhausted from wheezing today. I doodle in my notebook but still, I’m boring. Before i went to school, am hoping to hear the new rumors and gossip ( I still have lots of story to update ). Whatever it is, Happy Teacher’s Day ! :D Though for me, teacher's day this year wasn’t best like before, But it’s still the best day to keep in memory :]

18 June 2010


I’m not really blogging lately. I’m little bit stressed out and distracted. Haha. Right now, I have to settle all the school things, my homework and all. I kind of hate this but what should I do? :]

I hate this fact

Only 2 days left I’ll back in class. Oh lord, I can’t believe my holiday almost over. Sigh* My result is coming closer. I’m anxious and anxiety to know that. But thank goodness, my first day of school will become ‘ THE TEACHER’S DAY ‘ so, I don’t need to be panic or depressing. I’m pretty sure, this teacher’s day is awesome. Maybe the teachers day on 21 June sounds weird. It supposed to become a daddy’s day. Haha. My teacher a bit late to celebrate their special day. It’s okay. I don’t mind at all. I’m very happy to know the teacher day will be held on the first day of school :P

16 June 2010

I'm all alone

Everyday, Every time and Every minute I’m counting my birthday. My 15th birthday is in less than a month. Oh my dear Lord, I’m getting old ! However, there’s one thing that always playing in my mind. I don’t know whether I can celebrate my birthday with my whole family or not. Mom, Dad and my two sisters. Last year birthday, I just celebrate with two person. Glad that mom and dad were still here beside me. But I still felt so lonely though I’m not alone. I blew the candle alone, I ate the cake alone, I sang happy birthday song alone. Felt rather down at this moment. But yeah I think as we grow older, all the loved ones would be far. I open my picture album, and I saw my picture when I celebrate 1year old birthday where everyone sang happy birthday to the cute baby. But now, all those moment are gone in a blink of an eye. Never mind. I don’t need to complain too much. I’m just alone physically. Thank god for giving me another year, good health, and many wonderful moments/blessings. Love filled everyday


‘ Taterw kot. Huk huk huk. Titew pun ta tau lawrh ‘

‘ Titew cayang bb sanad2 ‘

Seriously, I’m not really understand with this word. Can you puh-lease use the word properly. If you use short form but in the right words, it’s okay. I’m understand. But if you use this kinda word, you make me crazy. I do not know how to read and you just waste my time to read your stupid word. Stupid retarded malay usually use this kinda word. Okay I think it’s disgraceful and ignorant. Hell you

15 June 2010

Chocolate Indulgence

I want to make sure, I’ll get this cake on my birthday. Wow i can't wait. This’s the one of my favourite cake in secret recipe after peanut butterscotch XD Marvellous and delicious. Non others words to say :]

10 June 2010

Misses much

I miss my parents
I miss my kitties
I miss my fishies
I miss my lovely bed
I miss my PC
I miss everything,
Gladly, I'm home now :]

♥ ♥ ♥

What the Hell !!

Now they seem to hate me. I don’t know what should i do. Tears roll down my cheeks. I pissed :’( Maybe it’s hard because they aren’t the one who raised me. Before this, I’m just heard story from somebody. After that, I’m deafening my ear and said ‘ bla bla bla ‘ . But yesterday, I FELT IT ! I don’t wanna tell their name. They are my closest. At least, I still have feelings of compassion and respect to them. How could you guys doing all of that to me. I AM HUMAN and I HAVE FEELINGS. Don’t you feel how I feel? This saddens me and stressed me out. Okay I know you don’t like me. But please, don’t treat me like this. I’m not stupid. I literally can’t write much about this case. I’m scare if someone would read this and know who is. I’m sorry I just had to get this out

04 June 2010

High Pressure

I had my last exam yesterday. Mathematics ! That wasn’t easy at all and yes this’s the tough subject. Paper one wasn’t difficult but the questions were too long and of course I need around 2hours to settled all of it. Unfortunately, when my teacher said ‘ okay 5minutes more ‘ , I’m still in question number 11. I couldn’t did anything. So, I left 9question behind. Oh suck. And yeah question in paper two were really tough as I thought ! My mind is blank at that time. By the way, I’ll waiting for my result after this school holiday. Now I’m having acute stress disorder plus I’m traumatic

OH ARGHHH. I don’t wanna flashback of those dreadful moment where I had to answer all the question without a clue

If only I could drop math :'(

02 June 2010

Dear Lord, Please hear my prayer ♥

Oh my god. Science paper 2 and history wasn’t easy as I think. This saddens me :’( What I read wasn’t came out in the paper. Seriously, I feel like dying when I open those science and history paper. I’m so pressured now. I’m thinking what I’ve done in the paper. Hey teacher, can I re-examination even it’s not eligible? Lol. I’m no longer in the happy mood and now I’m more to pathetic mood. I wanna go to sleep now :’( But before that, I wanna make a prayer first.

Dear lord,

Please help me to make a miracle on the paper that I’ve done today. Science and History. I know, I’m not did the best on the paper. But at least, I’m try. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. I’m just circle whatever I want in the paper. I’m so thankful if I’m not fail. So, please help me to get a mark. Amen

Should or shouldn't ?

Some people said examination should be abolished. Hah examination time can be a pretty scary at times. I have to admit. We couldn’t get enough sleep because of revising. It really take a time for all of us to understand and learn back at the time. For me, exam has its own benefits. It’s like a self-test. When the exam are coming, everyone started to read a book with the short amount of time. Today, i saw a funny case in my class. Everyone seems so crazy and fast to read a book when they know examination will be held around 5minutes more. HAHA. That’s really good. So I think now, examination shouldn’t be abolished. What you think? :]

27 May 2010

Older case come again

I expected about it earlier. At first, I hope my expected were wrong and hope it wouldn’t happened. So unfortunate that it happened today. I wasn’t shocked even just a lil bit. This case is the most famous case. Urm about people that always copy other’s answer easily. I think you are stupid and totally stupid. Why you’re not revising earlier? Why you’re not readin’ book? Ahhhh whateverlah. I always try to nottt nott nott thinking about this. But I can’t. I felt so unsatisfied when the teacher said that you did a good job. You got the best mark and other was failed. Can you felt how I felt at that time? My heart aching and I felt so angry. I wanna scream and said ‘ They copied answer to one another. Don’t judge. We did a good job, and studying consistently. Maybe this time wasn’t the time to got the best mark. So, the conclusion now is, Nobody Pass in examination this time !

24 May 2010

This is sooo sad :( I hate this video abit because i couldn't stop crying :'( This show that animal too can care and have love to one another. Please watch :'(
This blog is like partially dead and i'm sorry for that. HAHA Goodbye readers xxx

Stress me out

I’m not study yet for my examination :( Last weekend, I just focused on my folio. I’ve no time to open and looked at my book. Seriously, I feel like dying L I know, it’s my fault because I’m not revising earlier. I don’t know how to study actually. At the same time, I’ve got too many homework that i need to do. Yesterday, I was rampaged the fridge.This exam really make me stress plus I’ve got news from my teacher today. She said that this exam really tough and we had to study hard for this. So yes, I need to do as much work as I can in the short amount of time that I have. Only 2days left before the exam start. Exam is a challenge and I need to fight with others in class. It’s killing me L

I’m actually really feel unwell now. I don’t know it’s just stress or I’m ill =___________=

Whatever it is, good luck to those who will having their exam. Please wish me luck too :]


I’ve submit my ‘ folio sejarah ‘ today. Gladly, my folio wasn’t bad like some people did. My teacher only give 1week for all us to settle this folio. I just settle it in 2days ! I’m too rush for this folio because I’ll having my examination this week :]

19 May 2010


I just realized I hate my friends at my school. Most of them are totally dumbass. I kinda felt this way since February. I don’t have any good friend. What I have is only ENEMY. There are so many haters around me. They come from HELL

I feel like my friend ignore me every chance in life. They won’t shared any secret with me though they call me as their ‘ bestfriendship’ So, now I wanna askin’ you. What’s the friend mean without sharing anything? Secret or whatever. I always try to be the best. BEST FRIEND you ever met. But it doesn’t working

Better i keep myself alone now. I’m so use to having my own world in my head to think and resolve my problems that when i am with someone i have nothing to say or talk about. I still can stand up without friends and with so many haters around. I won’t die if I don’t have friends. Family is everything :]

18 May 2010

16 MAY 2010

Okay who knows what’s the special on this date? Put up your hand ! :P 16Mei is Teacher’s Day. Sorry for late post this entry. I was really busy ! So, do you give any present to your teacher? As I know, the only typical gift is a frame. Haha. I can’t forget when I was in primary school. I’ll give a frame to all my teachers. This’s the famous gift :P But for me, ‘ gift ‘ isn’t important. The best gift is we show our best mark to our teacher. Gift doesn’t mean anything, aye? :]

10 May 2010

Great time ♥

Petrosains, KLCC is the best ! I love this place and planning to go once again. If god willing :] I arrived around 9. So unfortunate that petrosains opened around 9.30am. So, we had to waited around 30minute. We weren’t bored because we could take some picture as the memories. We had so much fun there. Actually, I plan to uploaded picture and video onto my facebook also this blog yesterday. But there had something problem. So, video and picture will posted up soon XDD

Dumbass !

For girl, why you always posting/taking picture with your boobs or whatever half exposed? It doesn’t make you sexier ! You aren’t hot and you are totally dumbass ! I think, that all aren’t great picture for all of you to taking. We have so many way how to taking a great picture. You can search in google or whatever you want. If you still don’t know how to SEARCH, you can ask me and I’ll teach you how to taking picture. I just feel you all are so pathetic. Don’t you think that when you show off those ‘ hotters ‘ picture, you just make guys turn into perverts? They will say or post comment by saying obscene words? Well said, it suck !

07 May 2010

Dear Friend,

My friend in facebook getting hit to the number of 5thousand. So this mean that I’m about to de-friend you from my personal facebook. I’ll completely avoid someone forever. 5000 is the limit Facebook allows. I know, people will thinking I’ve snubbed them. What I write now, is the reason why. I don’t want to create more than one account. So, I have to delete friend later on when it reach to 5thousand. My apologies xxx

03 May 2010


It’s about bloody time ! I’ve decided to feel free of the resentment. But it’s harder to accomplish. Yeah actually I’m still learning how to forgive people’s mistake. I just can’t stand in the angry feeling anymore. Urm it’s started when I’m ready for waiting the bus. One of my friend’s sister told that my bus had go and leave us. I don’t think so because I saw the bus. But I’m not so sure whether it’s my bus or not. What if we just wait or went to that bus to ensure? Okay I admit that my heart sooo HOT HOT HOT !! Almost 2times we walk so far away. Don’t you tired? We surely wrong. Our bus had not leave us. But it’s because you was so scare if you not arrived to school. Please sister ! I am so tired. I’m hoping that you won’t do this mistake anymore. Learn from today’s case okay :]

29 April 2010


This is the 3days collected friends request. Okay i just busy and that was too many ! Decided to approve this weekend. But i just wondering why Facebook do not have ' approve all ' button. Very hard to click one by one. That mean i have to click confirm around 600 times !

Awesome day

Just came back from Stadium Uniten, Bangi. Lol i am so tired though I’m not doing any activity. Sport day today was not bad at all. I had so much fun with my dearies. So yeah it’s awesome day.

Say Hello to Mohd Haris Izazi ! Hahahahha He is ugly clown XDD

Quarter master's tent

Look at them ! We called this as sempoi style. Haha

They were focused on sport :]

Go Kenyalang ( Yellow ) Go Go !!

Jentayu ( Orange ) Look at that boy. He's wanna married :P

The green flag. That's my fav colour :]

Why it must had people's head when i taking picture? :/

So unfortunate that my Sport house fell to the third place. And merak ( Red ) be the winner. Okay i didn't expect that my sport house was in the third place. I thought, it's gonna be first or second. Urm can't believe that jentayu had beat us.

Here is the final result

1. Merak
2. Jentayu
3. Kenyalang
4. Helang
5. Bayan

27 April 2010

Off Off Off

I’m extremely busy in a couple of month. It’s like everyday I just spent my time in front of my book. That was so boring for me. Everyday, the teachers will gave us lots of work. Maybe, they thought that we had a long holiday. But it’s just 2days ! I’m really out of control. Anyway, now I just looking forward to having the next few weeks off. Good that next week I have a trip to Petrosains. Hopefully, all the problem will go out slowly. Oh ya Petrosains such the interesting place to go. I remember when I’m going there around 6years ago. I had a wonderful day. I couldn't forget that beautiful moment until now. Though my trip next week not so best like I think, but maybe I still can enjoy with my friends like I did once. Laugh and smile every single second.

Rendezvous Place

Tomorrow I’ll going to Stadium Uniten, Bangi. I admit that I just can’t wait to attend the day ! This is my second time join this program. Last year, I’m not attended this program because of some reason. So this year, I should not to miss this program. Let’s join me guys and Hello Rendezvous place :D

Spell it Right Competition

Nahh I’ve just finished Spell it Right. So unfortunate that I just can reach until Round 2. I was dismissed from competition so early. Unlucky me ! The words that the teacher gave me was so easy. I don’t know why I couldn’t spell it right. My mind was really blank plus there had a few of audience in front of me. I have to walk alone to answer the question. It’s really embarrassed and slowly kill me. Geez. I admit that I over confident before this competition started. I realizeeee


Honestly, I am the most lazy people to come to school. I am so chipper and happy on the weekends. But when it comes nightine, I feel like crying also anxious to the point. I wish I could begging to stay home I don’t get bullied. School was okay. I just hate being there. I’m so depressed, I’m sick of going to school. It’s horrible ! I just wanna die in the mornings. I want to be home schooled. But my parents said I need to stay in school around my friends. Well said, it suck. My super power brain need to retired for awhile.

Nowadays, I just being too diligent to go to school, attend any activity and also participate on competition. When I thought to be absent, I will think of three times. And the last time, I’ll cancel my plan and I’ll go to school though it forced. I feel sooo trapped and I want to escape. But what should I do. I’m not that kind of people.

But, I increasingly love my school and myself now. I always want to do the best than others did. I did not want to leave the lesson like I did once. So now, I’ll go to school everyday. Study, Sport, Sharing meals during the recess time, meet a good friends of mine. That’s my usually routine :]

Hated HATED exam !!

For over 1week I didn’t post any entry. I really miss this blog. So, How are you readers? Hope you are fine. My health is just okay. Not too healthy and not too sick. Haha. Anyway for now, I begun to revise the lesson. Examination are around the corner. I am sure, it’s not easy :P I hated HATED exam. I am sick of reading book. If they want me to copy the notes of 1000 thousand pages, I could make it ! But don’t give me this kind of test. I hate test and my brain hurts. Dizziness * L

16 April 2010

Sports Day

Actually, There's no sports day for this week. Sport's day was last week. I'm not attended like i told before. It seems so much fun that they had in school. But i had my bored day at home. Soooo severe ! First day before sports day would be held for form 3, i attend to school, i saw the bulletin board. They wrote that my sporting's house was in the first place. Of course i am happy with that. But when the sports day was held where i wasn't present at that time, i got the news that said my sporting's house fell to second place. If we compare with the first place, only 7points different. Well, i probably should not be stressed up to my limit. It's tough for me. I wish i could available at that time and redeem the errors =_______=

Need a little hope ♥

This week is going to be extremely busy and tiring. I have to keep on working my hardest until the very very end. Maybe today is the last day i can post my entry. After this, you will not see any entry that would be shifted to one place to another place like usually i did. So, you can imagine how often me posting 3entries in a day. Well, i just feel like writing nowadays. Haha. I'll have a competition that will be held this week and also my homework that is still falling behind. About the competition, i thought that i had missed to participate. Apparently, i still got the chance. A great opportunity that i shouldn't miss it once again. Thanks god for helping :] So, in this week i need to read lots of book. Because i am sure, this competition isn't easy and difficult as i expect. I just have to balance all. Then about my homework. It's still pending since last week. Teacher force to find to colour picture. I don't know where to find it. My plan is i wanna print. But guess what, my printer's colour was empty. Almost 3months i didn't buy the colour. Suck ! Anyway, I wish i do a HELL load better. Wish me luck and pray for me, guys xxx

Korean Movie

My first question is, Why you guys especially girl, really addicted in korean movie? :] To be honest, i'm the one who interested in korean movie once. But now, I'm not interested on it anymore. Most of korean movie that i think the best and not boring to be watch until now is Full House. You know it, aye? I watch it more than twice and i have the whole series in my laptop. Actually, there's been a long time i did not watch those movie. The last time i watched is 3 months ago XDD


I got the cough and sore throat after I talk with someone a few days ago. See, It was not recover until now. Almost 2 weeks, I just hadn’t get the sleep enough. Oh Lord ! I thought this virus was gotten from her. Through phone perhaps. Hahaha. It’s getting worse. And I don’t like it at all. Especially when I was in class. During the learning lesson where everyone were so focused, I was coughing. I cannot focused ! Maybe they would think that it might be disturb or too noisy. Forgive me. I was not intention, dearie :]

My Exam is Around The Corner !

Examination will start on 31Mei and ended on 4June. That mean, it’s only four days I need to having my examination. Guess what, My first thought is Examination’s papers will be made by teachers. Then today, my friend’s gave the paper that I thought that’s for wrapped. Lol. So, I feel like reading. I ask her

‘ This is for what? I know this is examination’s schedule. But why the title that will come out in our exam was very little ‘

She force me to read carefully. And you know what, examination’s papers for the mid term would be made by education department. Yeah I am anxiety ! The unexpected matter is we have to read our geography’s subject until chapter 10. To be frank, I was utterly gutted. So since it would be made by education department, it’s really require lots of reading, exercises. Now, the conclusion is I have to study harder. More more more harder than before. Last two months, I having my examination. Okay, I did not work hard enough at that time. Yeah I admit it. So the result was not good. But I still can score in some subjects. And the others was okay. I need to work hard soon. I believe that sooner, I will go to A-levels. Who knows. I guessing it was a few marks that will brought my grades down. I think, everyone know what subject’s grade that I mean just now :]

15 April 2010

Dizzy :]

I’ve been a busy girl. Since I’m still schooling and this is not the holiday’s month. So yeah :] I got one scrap book that I have not complete it. Around 30April I have to submit. That mean, I just got less than 14days. But I still have some work that I have not make it and will have some work coming soon. How I’m supposed to do it? Seriously ! I feel so challenged this time. I had not feel it before. I need an assistant to help me. But is there any? Help me, Help me ! The problems are enormous and growing all the time. I just can play to make it reduced. Homework this time was too much. I’m not be able to bear the brunt of this one. I feel like dying :] But what should I do. Homework is still Homework. There are non other word to be changed. I could only smile and be patience with all matters. Believe that everything can be solved in a simple way though it was too complicated and difficult :]

unexcused absences

I just make a truancy today for a reason. I target to not to play truant for 1month. But everything are cancel immediately. How can they make a sport on this month? Why not next month? At the same time, I got spell it right’s competition. I had to cancel this competition. It’s contrary with my sport’s day today. Oh Lord ! I missed to grab the chances and also catch the certificate. I want to collect my certificate but everything are destroyed and spoiled. I’m Devastated !