27 June 2010



today 28th June, I turn 15 xx
Alhamdulillah :)

My 15th birthday was a wonderful day to me. It meant a lot to me for you guys that had sent text messages, giving wishes and present. So unexpected you all still remember my birth date, my birth day. Words will never properly describe how much I happy. Thought nobody will care and forget my special day. I celebrate my birthday early. But still, I don’t mind and I thank to my parents for bought the chocolate indulgence cake from secret recipe. My favourite cake. So because I celebrate my birthday on Sunday( it’s today ), my assignment deadlines~

I thank to god for giving me another year, good health and many wonderful moments, blessing that I couldn’t forget forever and ever. Today, I celebrating my miracles which is my birthday =)

I say it out loud now :D

23 June 2010


I think i’ve been suffering for insomnia again nowadays. I only get needs about 3 or 4 hours of sleep per day. This’s really killing me. I super sleepy. My eyes swollen and itchy when I wake up. I have been trying to stabilize my bedtime, but it doesn’t working. I can’t sleep early. I usually sleep around 2 or 3a.m. Suck

Today’s story

I don’t know why this morning I am up way too late. It’s actually 5 minutes late. I can’t quite wake up either. I got skull pounding headache all of sudden, My kitten has been spoil my mood and I was veryyy depressed. I was a mess girl. Today, I had face my most embarrassing situation for me. My god, This was my first time in this year I slipped in front of people ! ( Slipping is my biggest fear )

My exam result were announced today. I was dreading. I’m afraid of failed since this examination wasn’t easy. I’m not satisfied. Here is the result


Bahasa Melayu – A

English – A

Agama- A



Geography – C

History – Urmm D. Haha ( flabbergasted )

I still haven’t received the result of all subjects. I’ll get another paper tomorrow and KH is next week =)

21 June 2010


Happy Daddy's day, Ayah xx =')

No one cares

I’m envy of the past, I’m tired seeing myself looking all drowning, I’m tired to act like I’m happy towards human. I realized now that life Is tough but I need to keep on trucking. Too many challenges will come. Waiting for me and I feel like I want to run. I’m not willing to get through all of it. Not in the mood and that is what I felt nowadays. I’m trying to run away from this life

If only I can change the past. Urm but I’m not god. I need my old life even though it isn’t the luxury life like I through now. My life is egregious. Nobody knows. Sometime, I want to be alone. So that I can live a life without a problem. I don’t murmur and complain. I just want to express my feeling inside. This feeling is the weakest part that grew in my heart.

I always consider everyone feeling. But I feel stupid. Stupid for not considering the feelings of self. I also feel that I am trapped in the turmoil of life which myself do not know where should I go. I cry but I don’t cry often. I’m not really happy the way it turned out. I need to keep moving forward and try to forgets.

I know this entry might be read by a thousand of soul, a thousand of heart. My apologies if this entry is said as a ungrateful girl =)

But I don’t care what people say

My mood is off =)

It was hard to drag myself into school today. But then. I realized why I came. Yawn* I’m get bored ! At times, I’m trying so hard to be happy, cheerful and enjoy in every single minute. I saw everyone were overjoy. Applause, laugh, smile. I wonder why. Haha XD

My lord, I’m totally exhausted from wheezing today. I doodle in my notebook but still, I’m boring. Before i went to school, am hoping to hear the new rumors and gossip ( I still have lots of story to update ). Whatever it is, Happy Teacher’s Day ! :D Though for me, teacher's day this year wasn’t best like before, But it’s still the best day to keep in memory :]

18 June 2010


I’m not really blogging lately. I’m little bit stressed out and distracted. Haha. Right now, I have to settle all the school things, my homework and all. I kind of hate this but what should I do? :]

I hate this fact

Only 2 days left I’ll back in class. Oh lord, I can’t believe my holiday almost over. Sigh* My result is coming closer. I’m anxious and anxiety to know that. But thank goodness, my first day of school will become ‘ THE TEACHER’S DAY ‘ so, I don’t need to be panic or depressing. I’m pretty sure, this teacher’s day is awesome. Maybe the teachers day on 21 June sounds weird. It supposed to become a daddy’s day. Haha. My teacher a bit late to celebrate their special day. It’s okay. I don’t mind at all. I’m very happy to know the teacher day will be held on the first day of school :P

16 June 2010

I'm all alone

Everyday, Every time and Every minute I’m counting my birthday. My 15th birthday is in less than a month. Oh my dear Lord, I’m getting old ! However, there’s one thing that always playing in my mind. I don’t know whether I can celebrate my birthday with my whole family or not. Mom, Dad and my two sisters. Last year birthday, I just celebrate with two person. Glad that mom and dad were still here beside me. But I still felt so lonely though I’m not alone. I blew the candle alone, I ate the cake alone, I sang happy birthday song alone. Felt rather down at this moment. But yeah I think as we grow older, all the loved ones would be far. I open my picture album, and I saw my picture when I celebrate 1year old birthday where everyone sang happy birthday to the cute baby. But now, all those moment are gone in a blink of an eye. Never mind. I don’t need to complain too much. I’m just alone physically. Thank god for giving me another year, good health, and many wonderful moments/blessings. Love filled everyday


‘ Taterw kot. Huk huk huk. Titew pun ta tau lawrh ‘

‘ Titew cayang bb sanad2 ‘

Seriously, I’m not really understand with this word. Can you puh-lease use the word properly. If you use short form but in the right words, it’s okay. I’m understand. But if you use this kinda word, you make me crazy. I do not know how to read and you just waste my time to read your stupid word. Stupid retarded malay usually use this kinda word. Okay I think it’s disgraceful and ignorant. Hell you

15 June 2010

Chocolate Indulgence

I want to make sure, I’ll get this cake on my birthday. Wow i can't wait. This’s the one of my favourite cake in secret recipe after peanut butterscotch XD Marvellous and delicious. Non others words to say :]

10 June 2010

Misses much

I miss my parents
I miss my kitties
I miss my fishies
I miss my lovely bed
I miss my PC
I miss everything,
Gladly, I'm home now :]

♥ ♥ ♥

What the Hell !!

Now they seem to hate me. I don’t know what should i do. Tears roll down my cheeks. I pissed :’( Maybe it’s hard because they aren’t the one who raised me. Before this, I’m just heard story from somebody. After that, I’m deafening my ear and said ‘ bla bla bla ‘ . But yesterday, I FELT IT ! I don’t wanna tell their name. They are my closest. At least, I still have feelings of compassion and respect to them. How could you guys doing all of that to me. I AM HUMAN and I HAVE FEELINGS. Don’t you feel how I feel? This saddens me and stressed me out. Okay I know you don’t like me. But please, don’t treat me like this. I’m not stupid. I literally can’t write much about this case. I’m scare if someone would read this and know who is. I’m sorry I just had to get this out

04 June 2010

High Pressure

I had my last exam yesterday. Mathematics ! That wasn’t easy at all and yes this’s the tough subject. Paper one wasn’t difficult but the questions were too long and of course I need around 2hours to settled all of it. Unfortunately, when my teacher said ‘ okay 5minutes more ‘ , I’m still in question number 11. I couldn’t did anything. So, I left 9question behind. Oh suck. And yeah question in paper two were really tough as I thought ! My mind is blank at that time. By the way, I’ll waiting for my result after this school holiday. Now I’m having acute stress disorder plus I’m traumatic

OH ARGHHH. I don’t wanna flashback of those dreadful moment where I had to answer all the question without a clue

If only I could drop math :'(

02 June 2010

Dear Lord, Please hear my prayer ♥

Oh my god. Science paper 2 and history wasn’t easy as I think. This saddens me :’( What I read wasn’t came out in the paper. Seriously, I feel like dying when I open those science and history paper. I’m so pressured now. I’m thinking what I’ve done in the paper. Hey teacher, can I re-examination even it’s not eligible? Lol. I’m no longer in the happy mood and now I’m more to pathetic mood. I wanna go to sleep now :’( But before that, I wanna make a prayer first.

Dear lord,

Please help me to make a miracle on the paper that I’ve done today. Science and History. I know, I’m not did the best on the paper. But at least, I’m try. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. I’m just circle whatever I want in the paper. I’m so thankful if I’m not fail. So, please help me to get a mark. Amen

Should or shouldn't ?

Some people said examination should be abolished. Hah examination time can be a pretty scary at times. I have to admit. We couldn’t get enough sleep because of revising. It really take a time for all of us to understand and learn back at the time. For me, exam has its own benefits. It’s like a self-test. When the exam are coming, everyone started to read a book with the short amount of time. Today, i saw a funny case in my class. Everyone seems so crazy and fast to read a book when they know examination will be held around 5minutes more. HAHA. That’s really good. So I think now, examination shouldn’t be abolished. What you think? :]