#317

Goodbye papers, goodbye books, goodbye endless nights.
Goodbye…. School.

My SPM is over. 95’s kids are having their merdeka’s day already. Today is the last day of SPM. And I sat for my last paper today. Ekonomi Asas! Don’t ever ask me about EA! You better ask me how I feel now! Marks the end of my school life today. My exam finished at 4pm. I heard somebody shout at the balcony “Merdeka. Merdeka” and i saw somebody dance in the balcony. Sape lah tu. Haha cute! Too bad, we’re the only 95’s today! “Merdeka” ni rasa macam ketinggalan giler tau. Kihkih. But it’s okay. It feels soooo damn good! Don’t only thing scare us now is our result. Let’s tawakal.

#316

I woke up with so many issues on twitter lately. Yes that blue birds is so dirty. There’s a case about “potong” thingy on my timeline yesterday. Seems that the guy had been hacked or he tried to increase his followers. Uh I don’t understand. I guess there’s a conspiracy behind this all. Kerap giler kot ada je “attention seeker” ni. I guess their account had been controlled by the same person! Wallahualam. I’m scrolling my timeline almost every seconds. Seeing the people keep updating their tweet with a harsh words. Please. If you wants to nasihat somebody, berkesan ke dengan ayat mencarut awak yang hebat sangat tu? Don’t trust what you see easily guys. Be positive. Maybe there’s somebody wanting to bring em’ down by their tweets. Fikir balik setiap account diorang. They created their account on 27 and on 28 they started to tweet something yang agak macam “seeking for attention”. They are! You guys don’t have to bash em’. Uh man, I laugh. Stop being so stupid would ya? I miss the days when I first created my account. I don’t see any Malaysian and uh well it’s boring. And now we’re all using it, and it’s kinda boring again. Let’s go back to Myspace? Myspace is so heavy now….. Poor you Tom. 

P/s: To my followers on twitter, my tweets increase whenever I watch a football match. sorry for any inconvenience. Muahaha chill lah. It’s AFF SUZUKI CUP timeee whutsss. Im a lil bit emotions whenever I watch em’ play. Especially yesterday. Hahaha I can’t wait for this Saturday. Malaysia gonna beat Indonesia. This is so exciting….

#315

Sometimes, I wish I could start over everything, including us. Like, how I wish! But I knew we couldn’t change everything. Benda dah jadi. What humans can do, ayte? I should have stopped trying to find the answers. All the whys, hows, I should leave them unanswered. Tak baik macam ni. Benda dah lepas kan can we just forget it and let it be forgotten forever? My problem now is you, only you. Kau tak boleh terima imperfections langsung. Weh, we all have flaws in ourself. Allah is the creator, and he create us in so many ways you know. Kalau semua dilahirkan sempurna, takde siapa yang berusaha untuk jadi yang lebih sempurna. So do us. No matter how hard you try to stop things from happening or rush things to happen, you can't fight fate, right? #SelfNote

I’m here. I’m always here for us. I’m ready to be your best “sister”, your listener, your shoulder. I’m willing to share anything with ya this time. I don’t want us to be strangers again. Time heals everything. I know right. But this scars in our heart seems to be deeper and deeper everyday. I mean, I hate every single thing about us this few days. I admit it was my mistake. I was blind at that time. I can’t see things clearly and how much it can effects my life. Can you please act like you don’t care about everything anymore? Act like we don’t even have a problem together? Like how it supposed to be. All egos aside, it honestly hurts. You can’t blame me alone. I want US. The OLD us. Ya Allah, bring back the old times. Lemme fix everything and trying to be better again. There's absolutely nothing I can do to make it happen. Only Allah can help us. Only him.

I don't want to remember the past. i don't live there anymore. Stop dragging me back to where we were so naive and such fools. You know the consequences. I'm not gonna get hurt. You are. So lets forgive and forget.

I know it’s hard……

#314

In case you're wondering, I'm doing fine right here, at this very moment, at this time. I can’t wait for 5 and 6 December. Lets welcoming “freedom” in my life. To those who have finished their payyyper, congrats! I mean, congrats you’ve finally break a wall in your life. Don’t check you answers *tips*, don’t regret for what you’ve done. Remember you have done your best and let Allah do the rest. I pray for the best result for me and of course, beloved 95’s mates.

I have a seven-day break before my last exams on the 6th of December, and that is like the longest break, so I can take one day off to do something not for my exams. Yes, blogging. This study break killing me cause I don’t have the guts do do anything. I mean, my efforts to study Is so bad y’know. I’m tired of being a lazy bum! Ya Allah. Your spm isn’t over yet you know?! You haven’t done your war yet you know?! You haven’t complete your stage 1 in your life yet you know?!  REALIZE THAAAAT! :(

I'm here, lying awake. Bye.

SPM/Examination break

I’m currently having my study week. It’s actually a break for Deepavali but let’s just say it’s our study week! I’m not using my time very wisely to study for my two exams next week tho. Haiz anybody pls slap me on my face pls. “Procrastination”. This attitude of mine is hard to get rid of. Yes, since I was a child. Hell yes I’ve been reminded for countless time to finish up everything early and on time but I always ending up getting my work done at the very last minute. I’m sure some of you guys too right? Well that is not a problem for me. As long as there is still time for me to do so.

So my first zombie week had ended last week! 4 subjects in a row killing me so badly. B.Melayu and English was just fine although I’m not having enough time to do my essay. History……. Uhm. Mathematics was just fine too. I can’t believe that I can focus and answer all the questions and finished on time! Is it a good sign for me? InshaAllah. After this holidays ends, I’m going to face 5 more papers. Which is Agama Islam, Science, Perdagangan, Economic and Sport Science. Economic on 6th December. 6 December is the last day of SPM. While everybody are happy and I’m still sitting for economic subject on the last day. Muahahaha how it feels eh?

But then………
I’m free :D
I saw many form 5 schoolmates posted statuses and tweets about leaving school. Guess they’re so excited to finish their school and SPM. I questioned myself about this. Am I ready or not? Am I ready to leave my school, my school uniform, my heavy bag? A part of me wants to graduate so badly, another part of me thinks that memories in high school are the sweetest and I can’t leave everything. Never mind

5 MORE PAPERS! BREAK A LEG!

P/s: Happy Dewali to all Indians! So yesterday I saw many of us mad as hell about the sound of the fireworks, ‘Mercun’ and everything. Can you pls accepting other cultures and not being a racist? They’re celebrating it on their special day. While us bulan puasa sebulan pun sebulan memekak. When it comes to Deepavali it’s forbidden? C’mon la.

Fear

SPM is indeed in 20 more days. Is it true? Less or more than that? I just knew that from twitter. Am I look like someone who doesn’t even care about the real exam? I don’t exactly count the days. One word, fear. I’ve done with my trial and I’ve already got my result. Don’t ask me what I get, how’s my mathematics, and my grades or else I’ll kill you guys now. Suddenly remember about somebody. He says *kantoi gak lelaki :p* “Kalau markah bagus tu cepat je bagi tau. Kalau tak bagus tu bukan main diam membisu” This is funny. Real funny. Hahahahahaha SOOO MEEE.

One moment we realize that we have one week and a half of no school. This’s the chance for us to use our time since spm is getting so near. Minutes by minutes we’ll reach to 5 November. This is stressing me out. I don’t want to mention this date but it keeps lingering on my head. ‘Not ready yet’ Are you kidding me? Forever will be ‘not ready’ but until when this ‘not ready’ keep haunting you.  Imagine if we’re sitting for SPM tomorrow…… Still not ready? Shoot your head and die in the hall.

Tomorrow is a school day. How time flies. One week and a half of no school, and the next thing I realize now is tomorrow is a school day back. This laziness and boredom strike me again. Syaitan banyak betul keliling ni. As we’re getting near and ready to something big, the more this laziness striking us. Even if I’m not ready, now I have to be ready. I hope I do. InshaAllah. Allah will be with us.

I am now waiting for the High School Graduation Day this Saturday. I could hear everyone talking about this Saturday. Hot topic. You guys are so pretty excited to graduate from high school. This 20th October, will be our last gathering. It seemed like yesterday I started my high school and tried looking for classes. Asking someone for help with my dad. Memories. I will miss you guys, start from now.

P/s: I hate wishes. I hate “Goodluck and All the Best”. You give my goosebumps. Whatever it is, goodluck to you guys who are taking final year exams, SPM is coming way too soon. Goodluck and beat the rest.

Kill all the lazy worms! Chaiyok ^^

Trial SPM

The title says it all. I’ve never been so happy and glad that the weekend is finally here. Maybe I know I have to do some revision for the examinations. I had and am still having my SPM trials since 28th August until the 20th of September. Almost a month! Gonna die a bit. But there’s a gap. Everybody gave me goosebumps by saying ‘GoodLuck for you trial’. Not so happy but thankyou. I only had 2 subjects for the first week of trial and another 3 on last week. Next week I’m going to kill myself with 4 subjects in a row. There’s no gap between those subjects. How to smile with that? :/ I wish my school would bring the famous yet intelligent motivator Dr.Shukri just like when I was in Form 3. He knows what you need. Really. You’ll in love with his words just in a second.

I don’t think I did well on my papers. Not enough. Especially on my maths paper. You know how much I hate numbers right? Well, not going to be pessimist. Even if I had an instinct that I’m gonna fail but I still tried to be optimist. Allah know whats best for me. Doa, usaha, tawakal. September is a hectic month! Actually, there was literally no time to sit down and rest before your trials end. I’m not following the rules what. This month is a hectic and challenging month also. Open houses everywhere *stupid reason to say. Kill me*. After you’ve finished doing your paper, you’ll start worrying the day after tomorrow. I haven’t even told you the best thing out of all of this yet. Haha cause it just hard!

I got thinking randomly that we have only 3 months left for school. Actually we have only two months. Another month we will spent our time sitting for SPM. I’m leaving my school soon, I’m leaving my parents soon, I’m leaving my home soon. Maybe

Time fly by so quickly. This tears of joy, this tears of memories. When we can unite like the photos below again……. We really had great times together. Rain or shine, day or night, through thick and thin. Gaduh semua pun dah penah rasa. I can’t help but smile when I reminisce our old memories since last year. Haha what a memories! Thankyou classmate *smiles*.

Open house 2012 :)

I’m typing for the entry again today. I thought 95’s would be busy with their trial but just figure it out that they are sooo busy with the…. Open houses. Oh okay same goes to me. Hahaha! I went to the open house again yesterday. My ummi’s house and one of my classmate. I wish.. how I wish I could change this tummy with yours :(

About 4.30pm we planned to went back home tapi hujan. Asal nak pegi rumah eyra je hujan haha tell me why. Since last year kot :p Sambil nak tunggu hujan stop lepak dulu. Almost 7pm baru balik -.-

Credit to : Arina Ariff

Blessing of Allah / Eid Mubarak

Hows your raya preparation guys? Going well?

Mine was simple. A pair of baju kurung and le new casing for my Blackberry. Hahaha! No new handbag and shoes. 95’s shall only celebrate for only a day. Remember what you’re going to face after that? Alright I’m not going to say that again. You know it very well ;) Syawal is coming so fast. I’m typing this today and it’s only about 2 more days to go. How time flies and how fast Ramadhan gonna leave us. “Tak puas doa lagi”. What about you? 

I don’t know where I’m going to celebrate my Eid. I don’t wanna go to Kuala Selangor. Daddy’s hometown. Well I just don’t wanna go. I rather staying at home and doing nothing! Lets talk about the Eid. My family has done so many kuih raya. We’re so excited to make Kuih Raya for the visitors! Come to my house if you wanna taste one! Cornflakes Chocolate, Chocolate Chip Cookies and so on *I don’t exactly remember the others name :p* But it tastes good! So maybe just that. 

I want to take this opportunity to say:

I’m so so sorry for any of my wrong doings. Sama ada sengaja atau tak sengaja. Sama ada tersinggung, terasa, terkecil hati, marah or anything I just wanna say sorry for that. Manusia biasa yang tak akan lari dari buat silap. Sedangkan Nabi kita pun mampu maafkan umat nya walaupun dicela, apa lagi manusia macam kita yang penuh dosa ni kan? 

Especially kepada ahli keluarga, kawan-kawan rapat dan siapa siapa jelah yg kenal ok.

Susun dua puluh jari *Termasuk jari kaki* nak mohon Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Have a very happy Eid! It’s ‘Families uniting’ time!

Selamat pulang ke kampung, Have a safe journey! :’)

#308

15th of Ramadhan

Day 15 of Ramadhan. We’re in the middle of Ramadhan now! 15 more days to go to Syawal. Let’s improve ourself. I just can’t believe that we’re in the middle of this holy month. Rasa semalam baru start fasting and now we’re in the middle of it. So far, my syawal’s preparation not so great as yours. A pair of baju kurung and.. Oh just that I guess. Not complete yet. Gonna buy soon before raya. Be simple ya 95’s. You guys know what we’re going to face after raya. TRIAL.

Repetitive
Repetitive
Repetitive

____________________________________________________________________________________

So lastnight I just told my mom I wanted to go to PLKN. Her reaction before when I told her, she just said ‘No tak boleh. Ayah tak bagi’ with a soft sound. Yerr just that. And lastnight when I told her about this again, with a loud sound ‘Tak payah la. Ayah tak bagi. Kang last minute cancel apa semua tak dapat’. Woww siap ulang lagi ayat tu. I don’t know what to say anymore. I really want to go. Nanti mohon senyap senyap lah baru okay. BYE! *Facepalm* T.T

#307

I sat staring at this white screen for the longest of time
Again…….
Not knowing what to write with this kind of emotions
Rebelled, yelled and so many ED ED ED at the back.
Trying to figure out how to this describe this kind of sorrow I just felt and saw

Hearing the sound of the echoes

**

Oh I am better. Better than 30 minutes ago
What happened in a couple of minutes ago?
No one’s gonna calm me and I guess no one’s gonna read this but I don’t care
Just now triggered with one text message
Argh hate this feeling :(
You reminds me of our quarreled, when it was us way back
So childish yet so sweet.


Things has changed, tremendously
We’re moving on to another place now

But.
…..

I have forgotten what happiness feels like now
Jangan bagi bunyi cengkering ni selubungi bilik yg syahdu ni
Don’t do this. Please remember your promises
You have a heart to take care of. Siapakah?
Haha think of your own.
Now that was slightly startling.
You don’t even say a sorry or even asking for forgiveness

Hmmmm........
**

Wherever you are now,
I wish you have a great night today
Toddles xx :’)

#306

The moments so precious in the past
Hoping for the moments in the present can be good too.
Y’know how much I’m scared losing you guys?
I hate losing peoples I love.
I don’t know if you ever felt this too but I am.
A strange yet beautiful kind of lingering past.
Always lingered heavily
Now imagine and describing our future
We are all going to find our own ways someday. I believe that!
Now… imagine the puzzles has lose one of their parts.
Not complete at all.
Some things were meant to be
Y’know, most of the songs I sang is all about you guys
Go understand the lyrics, not just understand the melody
Haha *mendee entah saya merepek ni*
But I’m just sad.
Some things are unraveling without the same people in the picture.
I think now I get to watch my future without you guys in it
And be happy for
Not knowing what to say anymore

"Sebab dulu aku benci, sekarang aku sayang"

Even after you’re gone,

You were meant for me, Jewel

TIA #305

TIA is --> Tomorrow Is August! Haha LOL. 

Welcome August. Independent day, Raya day, trial examination week and so on. Hoping August can be better than any other month. -Always for the better, for the longest of time. I'm just heading home from school now. Suddenly get into my room changing my uniform and run to my sister's bed and online. What the hell is just happening now?! The usually thing i did when i went back is, changing my uniform and laying on my bed. I am now scrolling my blog. The blank white 'composing box' now starting to shine and glare, you see that?

I stared and stared and stared at the blindingly white screen, just not knowing what to say. Loads of ideas.

And here is my words telling you guys on this post. Muahahaha.

Today was just fine. You know how much i hate my Perdagangan class. No, not the teacher nor the subject. Just... urgh ya i think this's all about the subject. Well, i'm pessimist. I know i'm not allowed to take back if i fail this one. I've made this difficult. I once love this subject. So much even my result wasn't that good. It's sad, so sad.

#304

Remember how we started?

Oh how these guy happened to run through my heart a couple of years ago. I was like ‘oh okay’ I guessed this guy has loads of advantage in him which I no longer yet discover. Muahaha.

We fight a lot than you guys know, we cried a lot more than you guys now, we… loved a lot. More and more than everybody know. It’s all about how we fought,  how we cried, how we loved and how we laughed like there’s no tomorrow for us. Are you wondering who am I talking about? Pls guess of your own :p It has been almost 2 years since we started a ‘hello’ before everything has been said and done till today. Not gonna tell this much. I hate telling and sharing about the love-life but I’d love hearing other stories about their love-life. Heh I don’t know why.

I love you


Very much. 
Can you see my ticker on the left?
Be brave ya? :’)

#303

Apology means more when we were all still kids

Agree? This title is about a friendship. We know how to built a friendship with friends since we were young. To say the truth now is… I suddenly had a moment just now. Where a bunch of memories just flashed right before my eyes. We all do have a friend. Who doesn’t right? What I’m gonna talk now is about FRIENDSHIP and ‘APOLOGY’. Everybody knows what friendship really mean to them and what is ‘sorry’ or better be called as forgiveness really mean to them.

Just in a 1 minute now, go back to your childhood! Reminisce your best day with friends in a playground. We once had a fight with them for the first time in our life. All the drama we had was only about ‘taknak kawan’ and the next day we both gonna give out the hand and say sorry. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t say that’, ‘it’s my fault. Lets play together’. Isn’t that cute? No talking behind, no teasing. Sorry was only a small matter for us.

Now go back to this era. We’re all grown up. What happened with our friendship now? Yes. We do love each others so much, we appreciates them more than they know. Sooner or later we gonna have a fight. Personally, thinks about what you just did with friends when you’re mad. Smile in front of them and talking bad behind their back. When they know your attitude and reaction, a fight begins. They’re hell loads of bad words. Yell to each other. It takes more than a day to say sorry. Or maybe no sorry for forever. Hearing the words ‘sorry’ makes us feel so annoyed. We think that we’re probably doing something right isn’t it.

You know what I just think? Friendship so fragile nowadays. I love my friends so much and we all do. But well, we are all normal human being. I always believe that they’re always have a nice ways for us to trust a friendship. Priceless.

#302

Assalamualaikum. Rasa nya sempat lagi nak ucap kan Selamat Berpuasa kat semua readers dan juga Muslim around the world. Lama nya blog ni sepi tanpa entry. Haha malas sangat nak update nya taktau kenapa. Nothing’s good recently. Puasa Alhamdulillah tak tinggal lagi. Nak sangat puasa penuh tapi kena jugak terima hakikat yg kita ni perempuan kan. Ops :p 2 or 3days ago I just received my Trial examination schedule. SPM tu awak. Not easy at all. Much more harder tough difficult apa semua lah than the real one. Tapi kredit trial tu banyak jugak dikirakan untuk permohonan ke UPU nanti. Pray for me, pray for my studies. I’ll do my best. InshaAllah *Padahal study pun tak mula lagi* LOL.

I’m not selected for PLKN. Don’t know if I have to be sad or saying Alhamdulillah for the result I’ve got. Rasa hati nak sangat mohon ke PLKN. You know how much I love camping kan. Lagi lagi ramai kengkawan pegi. Some people said that theres gonna have second and third intake for PLKN. Is that true? As far as I know and as my sister said, theres no second and third series for PLKN. All at once. Yg membezakan nanti hanya kumpulan berapa untuk yang terpilih. Entahla. Tengok lah nanti KALAU ada result lagi macam mana. Kalau dapat, syukur. Tak dapat pun tetap bersyukur jugak. 

Alhamdulillah

Praise a lot more to Allah. I’m still alive until today.  And to feel what’s the meaning to become older than yesterday. Hello seventeen! Now celebrating the fact that I’ve been alive for seventeen years! What a blessed and what a good start.

Thank you mom for raising me, being here, being my angel for seventeen years. Thanks dad for your unlimited support

I don’t want anything. Enough with your wishes guys, thank you so much! My best gift for this year is, my little brother
Adam Mukhriz :’)

Thank you, 'friend'

Assalamualaikum WRT WBT

What a tiring day. What a bad day recently

I haven’t felt this all this while. This saddens me a lot. Those were the good all days when I thought everyone would understand and accept my appearance, transformation from bad to good. I know, it wasn’t really good and I know that you guys still talking bad about me behind my back all this while. I know that. Seriously. Mulut org tak mampu kita nak tutup. Tutup macam mana pun org akan tetap bercakap jugak. Thanks for being honest dearest friend, thanks for ‘noticing’, not to forget your ‘teguran’ too. I’ll accept it with my whole and sincere heart.

But what kind of ‘teguran’ is that when you’re talking about it with a loud sound in front of others friend? Malu tak malu god knows and everybody laughing like crazy… It happened in class. Cakap berpada. That thing happened LAST YEAR NOT NOW! Why lah benda yg kita dah berubah to something better but someone still bercerita balik kat kita pasal appearance kita baju ketat and not wearing hijab before? If it still happens now, for Allah’s sake I’ll never gets sad, angry because I know, you still see that kan but I’m changed now what. Right? Kawan2 awak pun dah nampak I’m changed. Sad thing is, kawan yg dah nampak tu pun together gether and gether laughing like crazy to me.

 Me: ‘Takpelah lepas ni keluar pegi memana aku pakai guni je okay’. 

'Ha bagus lah. Lepas ni aku nak tengok kau pegi KL pakai guni or telekong je okay?

My conversation. He wants to see that perhaps. Remember that statement? :’)

Teguran yg baik inshaAllah hati boleh terima. Teguran yg supposed to talk face to face with me. Bukan cakap bagi semua org dengar dan malu kan orang. Malu kan up until now. You have a girlfriend, baju ketat tak pakai tudung kenapa tak penah tegur? Why meee? Aku pakai tudung what, baju pun tak macam last year. About last year, i know that was my poor appearance. Not really good to show. THAT WAS LAST YEAR. But beza apa skrg dengan girlfriend kau kan? Just because of I’m ‘chubby’ so you guys have a lot of point to talk and laugh. Really? Alhamdulillah I still have a friend. They’re so ‘concerned’. Concern and laughing. Yes they are… thank you so much :’)

Million apologies kalau lepas ni dah kurang bertegur. Hidup dalam masalah sendiri lagi baik. Terima kasih atas teguran, kata2 pedas, semua gelak tawa korang pasal aku. Allah knows me better. May Allah bless you guys. Assalamualaikum, good luck for our upcoming examination. Do your best

Sincerely,
Aini Azhar

School will be over

25 days left before Ramadhan. After that, “Welcome to Syawal”. You love it? A month full of blessing. I’m going to face my trial examination after Raya. I’ll enjoy my raya as much as I can. Not going to say, no raya for this year. No no no. Raya is still raya what :/ Just on the first day laaa. Not to be over. I’m seventeen……….

‘Too close too comfort’

SPM is drawing near. We have only about five six weeks left to have our final preparation after trial *maybe*. Time is running out now. But I haven’t studied even a little bit for my exam yet. My mid-term examination is so frustrating. Not going to tell you about my grades. Just imagine, I have 2 failed subjects and 3 credits. Another subject… DOWN. TOUGH! It’s June already now. Very soon my life as a secondary school student will be over. I’m over thinking. It’s a bitter-sweet feeling. No more school, no more examinations, no longer lug my heavyweight school bag to school, no more homework and all. NO MORE. But I’ll miss the fun I had in school. I’ll miss my friends. Sad to leave my 12 years of school. Carved many memories that i would never forget. I’ll miss it. For sure………

Right now, I seem to be losing my passion for studying. I don’t know why. I can’t stand sitting in class all day, I can’t stand sitting and studying at home all day or even a minutes. WHY?! I need to change this feeling very very fast. There’s only about 5 months left to fight for my studies. everyone is eagerly preparing for it.

SPM IS NOT THE FINAL EXAM.
Did you know there will be many other exams to come?
It’s definitely not the hardest. Let’s fight for our future

Tune in next time. Bye

I'll miss you

This motherly feeling popping whenever i touch a baby. Gatal much? Lol low minded. I'm soon to be mom what. What i mean is, someday i'll get married and going to have a baby. My daughter/son who knows right. I love kids especially a 'baby'. 

OwOooOoooOoo one fine day

Himpunan Jutaan Belia Negara 2012 ( PBSM CAMP) Part

Hari ke empat 25th May:

Ni aku teruja nak bercerita. Siang tu skill station ah macam biasa. Takde lah berat pun. Tapi ni takde sangat nak bercerita. Malam tu kitorang dapat pegi konsert modal insane *Tengok lah auto correct jadi ‘insane’! Padahal insan* Oh ok modal insan yerrr. Teruja dapat tengok ana raffali, hazama, saujana, farah asyikin, rabbani live! Best tengok hazama buat tepuk wau hebat pbsm punya tepuk. Tp konsert tu memang kitorang pbsm je yg banjir kan. Eeeeimok! :p Balik tapak around 11pm, minum2, masuk khemah then zzzzZZzzzz nights world

Hari ke lima 26th May:

Ni pun best jugak! Hari ni dapat buat skill station CPR bagai tu. Dia bahagi kan berapa group entah untuk buat tu. Then kena buat sorang2. Takde lah aku malu pun sebab group aku semua ladies and tak ramai kurang 10 orang. ‘Sir sir, are you alright, are you alright?’ HAHAHAHAHA! Time jue lah untung. Tiba time dia buat je tetiba timbalan menteri belia tu pegi kat group kitorang tengok jue buat. Untung ler camera depan belakang kiri kanan semua focus kat dia je plus dapat masuk paper pulak tu. Yerrr! Hahahaha :p

Aju punya time. Dudududududu~

Malam tu pulak………. Dapat pegi konsert KPOP! Dal shabet is on the stage! Tapi pakaian tak payah cakap. Macam tu ke nak belia2 ikut? Apa lah. Seluar pendek tu tanak banned pulak.

Dorang bagi masa kitorang jalan2 kat situ sampai 11.15 then berkumpul belakang stage konsert tu balik. Best tak best lah aku melecet kot. Tahan je nak nangis tp nak jugak jalan! Jalan punya jalan jumpa group ni kat booth Rakan Muda.

Terbahak aku tau. Tp cover lerr. Hahaha! xD

Hari ke enam 27^th May:

It’s time to say goodbye! :’) Pagi pagi ada jugak aktiviti dari fasi2. Tengah hari dalam pukul 2pm lepas kitorang khemas barang and khemah semua, ada majlis penutupan. Best part is, setiap 1 sekolah dapat 2 fixie. Hehe thankyouu. Untuk PBSM je kan. Tapi macam lah aku datang meeting selalu. Tak penah kot. Hahahaha! Byeee CAMP! Saya akan sentiasa merindui toilet yg ‘the best’ tu -.-“

:')

Balik rumah je macam biasa lah. Aku tunggu kemain lama ayah nak ambik kat sekolah. Haaa time tu dorang tak perasan kehitaman aku ni lagi. Balik je aku ketuk pintu, mak bukak. Dah gelak2 dah dia. Thanks mak! Oh lepas tu ayah pulak masuk rumah, ha lepas tu ayah tengok aku atas bawah, thanks ayah! Pastu kakak2 aku pulak ejek aku hitam sampai sekarang, thanks ea! K bye -______________- Nanti aku putih balik la. Tunggu la korang

Himpunan Jutaan Belia Negara 2012 ( PBSM CAMP) Part I

Salam sejahtera, salam 1 malaysia

Tak tau lah aku nak mula cerita dari mana. For sure post ni lebih panjang dari biasa *Tagline kita hari ni*.  Sejujur nya aku tak penah pegi kem hampir seminggu ni. Selalu 3 hari je. Before pegi mak ayah, kakak2 yg ‘disayangi’ sangat ni pun hampir nak mematahkan semangat aku nak pegi. ‘Hitam lah kau balik nanti adik’. ‘Hitam macam kau tahun lepas. Tu baru 3 hari. Ni seminggu’. Ok dah fine. Aku pegi jugak lah. Heran pulak aku nak hitam. Adat lah en SUNBURN. Dari terperuk kat rumah jerr grrrrr :/

Hari Pertama 22th May:  

Pagi tu aku pegi sekolah dulu ambik exam perdagangan. Dalam kepala otak aku sibuk fikir barang apa lagi aku nak bawak time tengah exam tu. Kawan2 aku pun siap mintak list lagi barang. Mentang2 aku dah packing ahad. Hahaha cheeeitt. Balik sekolah aku siap2 suruh kakak aku hantar. Konon nak pegi pukul 3pm memang SHARP aku sampai pukul 3pm. Kawan2 aku pulak sibuk menge’call’. Tetiba aku pulak lambat en. Haa tp janji melayu. Eh tak ah. Eh tak. Janji cina! Pukul 3pm sangat lah padahal gerak pukul 5pm. Tettt vhdgreuhtghrefhadhabdwry -.-“ Dah sampai terus cari tapak. Bagus la tapak banyak kerengga. Ha lepas tu cikgu suruh anjak2 khemah. Haaa lepas tu lepas tu khemah aku tanah berbonggol. Haaa lepas tu lepas tu dan lepas tu, tolong bayang kan macam mana aku tidur time malam tu. Sexy terus aku bangun haaa. Best. Ingat kan tanah aku dapat kali ni better tp lagi teruk rupa nya -.-“ Hari pertama kitorang takde aktiviti. Ice breaking tu pun takde. Tu yg best sebenar nya tu. Dudududududu~ Tapi ada satu cerita buruk. Malam pertama tu *malam pertama kat kem maksud nya* time malam nak mandi and solat, kitorang pegi masjid besi tuanku mizan tu. Time syok ambik angin tepi tasik sambil otw pegi masjid tu, ada segroup abe2 kelate nakharomm kat laluan tu. Kejar bebudak. Time nak balik aku pulak kena. Tapi bukan kena kejar! Dorang lebih 10 orang lalu kat sebelah aku time GELAP pulak tu, apa nak jadi pun  memang boleh jadi dah tau. Diorang dapat ambik gambar aku. Ni famous nya sentence k, ‘nak ambik gambo baju bele2~’ time tu aku pakai baju belang2. Rasa nak call ngadu kat ibu kita errr -.-“

Tempat kejadian bebudak kena kejar. Tempat kejadian serangan org Aryan. Eh tak tak. Serangan abe2 kelate. Hahaha tetiba ingat sejarah rom pulak ghahaha!

Hari kedua 23th May:  

Day 2 takde aktiviti lagi. Aku pun pelik kenapa. Dalam tentative kemain pulak skill station bagai. Tapi bagusss! Takde lah aku nak jalan aktiviti full 6 days kan. Dapat relax 2 days. Kihkihkih~ Ada cerita lawak time day 2 pepagi. Gegeh aku set alarm pukul 4am then kejut kengkawan aku bangun. Nak pegi mandi kat masjid punya pasal. Kalau lambat bangun confirm lah nanti ramai. Rebut jamban pulak kang -.-“ K time dah bangun tu, kitorang ye2 je rentas gaung yg kecil cenonet tu. Hahaha dari jauh aku nampak ada abg2 pbsm tepi tu sibuk perhatikan kitorang. Aku rasa lain macam dah sebenar nya. Elok 3 4 langkah lepas aku melangkah tu, tetiba…

‘ Dik dik, nak pegi mana tu? Maaf ye. Kitorang dah tak benar kan korang pegi masjid dah. Nak pegi tunggu pukul 5.30am nanti kita berkumpul reramai k. Fasi2 pun kitorang tak benar kan pegi jugak. Mekaseh’

Ohmagucccci. Nasib gila muka malu + bengang pun tak nampak. Haaa dorang pun sibuk tanya2 kenapa kitorang tak pegi. Kitorang cerita ah. Owww rupa nya diorang tak bagi pegi sendiri sebab ada fasi2 kena kacau dengan abe2 kelate tu a night before tu. Fasi ea? Kitorang adik2 ni dah terlebih dulu kena kacau. Siap kena ambik gambo lagi. Erghh aku lah tu. Disebabkan takde aktivit hari tu kitorang bebas buat apa2. Just kalau ada siren tu kena lah berkumpul. Takde apa pun sebenar nya just nak dapat info or warning sikit2 je. Aku banyak lupa lah day 2 ni. Almaklum lah lama sangat pegi nya. Otak pun agak blank banyak sangat dah dia kandung kan ni. Dah lupa aktiviti itu ini aku buat time hari apa. Hahaha! Malam tu ok lah panas dia not bad. Whahaha. Ada lah aktiviti gila aku jadi cam whore dengan noni dalam khemah. Best part! Kang korang tengok terbahak pulak. Malas la nak upload. Tak baik bukak aib sendiri. *aib lah sangat*

Hari ketiga 24th May:

Hari aku paling lemah sebab nak buat aktiviti. Senam pagi as usual in the morning every 7am. Panda eyes! Malam2 bebudak hyper sangat borak kemain kuat. Diorang memang tak bagi tidur sebenar nya. Tak penat ke? Oh yerla tak buat aktiviti lagi kan. First aktiviti apa eh? Oooo system komunikasi tu. Boring nak mike alpha mike papa uniform sierra *sapa belajar foktrots alphabet akan faham maksud nya* :p Lepas tu kena kawad. Kena kawad tu yg tak tahan. Panas dia fuhlamaaaaak. Habis armpit saya. Hahaha! Tapi nasib time kitorang kawad takde kena denda kalau silap macam group lain. Oww Mentadak For The Win! Tapi hari ni jugak ada benda malang kitorang kena tempuh. Dalam 30 org or lebih kena cery bery and sakit perut. I’m one of em’. Taknak lama pulak reramai memerut kat masjid. Nak memerut kat toilet yg takde serupa toilet tu memang tak lah. Tapi ada rezeki kot time tu. Aku syok duduk sambil tekan2 perut time kat skill station memasak. Then group-mate aku ni panggil dalam 10 org macam tu. Dia kata Cg Aidil panggil. Mengeluh panjang aku. Dah la sakit perut. Sampai kat tapak kitorang berkumpul je, dia nak ambik dalam 100 org macam tu. Tau apa yg kitorang nak buat? Jalan pegi kat area tempat kehakiman ambik fixie bawak kat tapak kem reramai. Weeee~ Hilang terus rasa sakit perut kitorang. Bhahahahahaha! Cantik kot fixie colorful. Org tepi jalan pulak semua tengok wuishh bangga. Thanks yerrr cikgu :p

Rumah kedua. Masjid Tuanku Mizan :p Rumah sesaaangat laaa

Fixie aku color merah. Actually banyak lagi kat tepi2. Cantik kan. Cantik!

Oh ni mangsa2 kejadian memerut. I was there with them. Tu yg hujung. Tenenenetttt -.-"

Pfffffffffffffttttttttttttt

and thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn....................

Mengundang marah betul -.-"

Reminiscing

Seeing that little kids in front of my house. ‘Oh how time flies. Those were the good old times’. I look back and think of the years that went by. Those were the time when I was still a kid. I love to wear my green skirt, green sleeveless blouse and play with my friends. I was like a boy back then. Every 5pm is my playing time. Before I went, I would just run to mommy and wanted her to give me 50 cent everyday. LOL. Yes now I’m growing up already. Soon to be in college and soon to be mom (Haha). I miss being a kid tho. No one cared how you look like. We could just be ourself aren’t we? Well not today. People so judgmental nowadays. Realize that? :) If we do only a small mistake, they are going to insult you. Or in other thing they did is, nagging. Everybody wants everything to be perfect in this era. In fact, we’re all human. We all have flaws in our self. But still can be perfect by learning from the mistake. So why should we insult the one who’re still learning? Do you think you’re perfect enough among us? Yes. Maybe yes. Second big question is, do you think you have been so perfect to Allah?

If only I can go back in time and meet me younger self. I would pass on one advice to the little me, who was so desperate to grow up back then. I would say, 

“Enjoy these time as much as you can little one, for one day you will look back and wish you could stay in your past. You’ll regret to grow up when you know how life going to be when you’re older” :’)

"Nobody tells this to people who are beginners; I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff; it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase. They quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it's normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take a while. It’s normal to take a while. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.” -Ira Glass

Miss me, anyone?

I know you all do. Haha I’m back now. Just for a short break. I have been struggling so hard for this mid term examination ok

So how are you doing dearest?  Well I hope you’re fine. Not too late to wish a very Good Luck for all of you who are taking mid term examination right now. I don’t care whoever you are and which school you come from. The exams have been ok. Yesterday I sat for Bahasa Melayu exam in the class. Are you gonna ask me how was it? Haha. I would say its good. No, I mean JUST okay. Paper 1 and 2 was not so bad, was not so good too. 350 words for essay, 200-250 for continuous writing. Upper secondary are always bad you know. I opened my Facebook yesterday. Scrolling down and found all the status by Form 4 students. ‘Penat doh. Dakwat habis, sakit tangan’. Haha that was sooo me when I was in Form 4. Normal la you olssss. The exam is not over yet you know. There’re still have one week and a half to go. It wasn’t easy at all. Go read book, stop online! Note this to yourself!

I better stop mumbling. English exam in the morning. I would say it was really hard. Especially paper 2. I spent about 30 minutes to read summary again again and again till I understand. No, I’m not understand actually but just pretending to understand the needs. I ended up with belasah jelah. Paper 1 was summary. ‘Unforgettable Experience in your life’. Whoaaa. And again I don’t understand the tittle. They want me to story about the experience I couldn’t forget or describe what is unforgettable experience in my life?

Huh. That is all for now. I’m a good dictionary today y’know. Tomorrow I’ll sit for Agama. Till then, bye

Faktabbb

Mid term examination? --> Second test of examination? --> Trial SPM? --> SPM?

Why do I have to face all of this above? To tell you the truth, I already give up with studies now. Especially, in maths. I hate numbers as I told you guys before. No matter how many times I’m trying to like the numbers, I’ll give up at the end. I don’t know what will happen with my result sooner.

Can I give up now? Can I just say no to examination and studies? Can I just be an irresponsible ass and run away? Can I not face this world till I'm ready? When will I ever be ready? How would you know when you are ready? I dont. I honestly dont. But one thing's for sure: Not NOW!

Sport Science's activiti ( Rentas Halangan )

How was your day dear participants? What did you expect about this 'Rentas Halangan' before you started joined this? Fun is it? Haha! Don't mad. Look at the tittle 'Rentas Halangan'. No bullying. Adat lah dengan nama dan aktiviti yang lasak!

Station 4 : Spider Web! 

Station 5 is my station! Apa entah nama dia. Lupa. Hahaha! Ingat senang ke nak buat ni? Yang mencacak kayu dan pasang tali ni bukan keje orang perempuan. Keje kami ni letak dedaun yang seghupa petai tu je. Haha ingat senang jgk eh? Berhempas pulas selama beberapa jam setelah hujan mulai reda dengan gaya seperti pesawah atau mungkin juga boleh dipanggil sebagai pekebun, kami sanggup terjun *turun je sebenar nya* ke dalam air semata mata nak letak daun. Air tinggi ah ingat rendah? Gambar tuh time air dah kering keesokan hari nya! :p

Station 8 kot : Kena pusing 10 kali then tendang bola masuk gol. Kalau tak gol, pusing lagi 4 kali. Sampai pengsan!

Hehe tak rasa comel ke gambar ni? :p

P/s: Bukan aktiviti ni je yang ada. Banyak lagi. Just tak larat nak lari station by station ambik gambar. Dapat tunjuk station 4, 5 and 8 je. Sorrayyyyh

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Setelah tamat nya aktiviti ni, kami sebagai penjaga dan peng'handle' aktiviti ni, kami harusss...................

Jeng jeng jeng!

Macam buruh binaan dah tengok diorang ni. Mana saya? Tengah buat dajal ambik gambar ni. Haha tapi comeeel. Lelaki semua dah pupus jadi tugas ini terletak di bahu kami 'Kaum Hawa' -.-"

Banyak lagi gambar. Takkan 178 photos nak show kat sini kot? Ok dah bye!

Aku kata...

Aku kata “astaghfirullah” tapi hati masih gemar akan maksiat.

Aku kata “wa atubu ilaih” tapi jasad masih melakukan dosa sama.

Aku kata “wa nadimna ya Allah” tapi kesilapan lalu masih kuulangi.

Aku kata “subhanallah” tapi aku tidak mampu menghayatinya.

Aku kata “alhamdulillah” tapi aku masih tidak bersyukur dengan kurniaanNya.

Aku kata “Allahuakbar” tapi cintaku lebih kepada dunia.

Aku kata “ma fi qalbi ghairullah” tapi masih ada ruang di hatiku untuk insan yang tidak halal.

Aku kata “aku tak layak ke syurga, tapi aku tak sanggup ke nerakaMu” namun aku hidup di dunia seakan-akan aku kuat untuk rasa pedih api neraka.

Aku kata aku ingin mendekatiMu,

Namun amalku tak seiring dengan kata-kataku.

Aku malu dengan sepasang mata kurniaanMu ini,

Kerana air mata yang mengalir seakan-akan sia-sia.

Aku malu dengan tangan yang sudah lelah mengelap air mata,

Kerana tingkah laku pemiliknya ini tidak menggambarkan aku kesal.

Bahkan aku malu dengan sang burung yang berkicau,

Kerana aku insan yang dinodai dosa..

Sedang sang burung tidak disentuh walau sekelumit dosa

Friend Requests? Denied.

*Not to be berlagak. For your information, i've been collecting this amount of friend request since i first started joined my Facebook about a year ago. They're still pending*

Thousand of names in my friend request. Those with weird names like : Mas joko, mas ganteng, anje chumel, amoi somodh. Who the hell are you? Have you been thinking for twice or even thrice before you wanted to add me? Are you guys expecting I’m gonna approve you guys with weird names and no Profile Picture at all? Sorry for the others too. Just like what I’ve said, I only add people I know. But you keep sending me friend request without read my description first. Or maybe, it’s all because of this sucks Timeline and it’s hard to show my description. Perhaps. Note to ya, how can I approve you on Facebook if I don’t even know you? With only 1 mutual friend and sometimes none? Like serious? J

I used to approve random friend requests back then. Especially in my First Account. My purposed is I wanted to have loads of friends so that my friend list would be reach to 5++++. And if you guys clicked to ‘Add as a Friend’, it would be ‘Sorry this profile has loads of request’. Kinda that. I’m stupid, typical facebook-ers and I KNOW IT! -.-“ Right now, if I have random friend requests, I would simply ignore and sometimes I just hit that ‘Not Now’ button. Even if we have 3254664 mutual friends, if I don’t know you, I would not approve you easily as that. Simple right? My second account have about 635 friends and I know em’ all. I mean, not really know in my real life, but at least I know their name and we sometimes met. They are my schoolmate, my relatives, some others are the people I accidentally met somewhere *can’t remember who and when*.

Alhamdulillah

Tenang rasa nya hidup sekarang ni. Not like before. Feeling anxious and anxiety for no reason. Bangun tidur rasa tak tenang, hidup seharian pun rasa ada yang tak kena. It feels like I haven’t completed something in my life. Kosong gila kot hati dalam beberapa minggu sebelum tu. At the same time, I thought of something. ‘Hijab, solat’. These two things I think when I woke up a few weeks ago. Bila bangun tidur terus cari mak. Tanya dia kenapa hidup macam ada yang tak kena je in these few days. ‘Amal ibadah kau kurang’. Terdiam terus masa tu. Selama ni bila mak cakap, tak ada lah rasa sentap sangat kalau berkait rapat dengan hal tu. Time tu tak tau kenapa terasa sentap sangat.

Mimpi buruk macam-macam ada. Tapi tak boleh share. Bak kata orang, mimpi kita tak perlu share. Cukup lah hanya kita je yang tau. So I’m not gonna share this with all of you. Cukup lah dengan bagi tau, mimpi tu menakutkan. Insaf terus dalam beberapa minit je. Time tu bangun tidur terus rasa nak mengalir. This is really pressurized me. I don’t know what should I do. Apa makna semua tu pun tak tau. As you guys know, I’m a Muslimah that doesn’t wear a hijab before. But i said I’m soo gonna wear that in the future when I ready. WHEN I’M READY. Ayat yang paling tak betul orang penah kata. I’m one of them. Saya salah

"Aurat itu hak Allah, bukan hak manusia. Siapa kita untuk berkata 'belum bersedia' atau 'belum sampai seru' untuk menutup aurat sedangkan arahan itu datang dari Pencipta kita?"

I have lots of pictures of myself on my social site without Hijab. But I generally dress quite modestly. I really enjoyed standing out. Tak tunjuk badan sexy sexy pun. Tapi tetap berdosa. Rambut tunjuk jugak. Think about something too ‘Kalau aku mati nanti, MashaAllah berdosa nya. Tak ada siapa tau password social site semua. Aurat yang masih terlihat dan dilihat oleh orang. Yang takkan penah padam’. After all of this passed, I’ve made my decision. Keputusan paling ikhlas. Tak ada paksaan, tak ada sebab nak berfashion. This is my OWN DECISION. I WEAR A HIJAB. Pakai terus tiba tiba. Tak penah tanya parents pun. I was terrified of wearing hijab before. Why? Takut apa orang nak kata. Takut sangat. Tapi kenapa perlu takut? Ni arahan Allah. Buat apa perlu takut kan? Ujian yang lagi berat lepas tu. I've heard several answers from people. Sindiran yang paling kuat, paling rasa tersentap jugak. Jawapan dari orang yang paling disayangi. It’s happened when dekat bazaar. Nak beli tudung

‘Buat apa nak beli tudung. Entah sebulan dua tudung kau tu dah terbang dah. Tak perlu beli banyak banyak’

Besar nya dugaan ni. Tak sangka. Saya nak orang support saya, tapi sindiran yang diterima. Dari orang yang paling saya sayang. PALING SAYA SAYANG. I feel like crying now. It’s not easy you know but it’s okay. Susah nak buat perubahan. Tapi tetap sabar. Allah sayang orang-orang yang sabar. ‘the more patient you are the more rewards you'll get’. I never took off my hijab. I once said this thing, ‘once I wear, I’ll wear this forever’.

Never mind what people going to think of me. I’m going to do what I think is RIGHT.

Tanya sekarang untuk siapa saya pakai ni?

I WEAR THIS FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH

Hawa,

Hawa,

Sedarkah engkau sebelum datangnya sinar islam, kamu dizalimi, hak kamu dicerobohi , kamu ditanam hidup-hidup, tiada penghormatan walau secebis oleh kaum adam, tiada nilaian dimata adam, kamu hanya sebagai alat untuk memuaskan hawa nafsu mereka. Tapi kini bila rahmat islam menyelubungi alam bila sinar islam berkembang, darjat kamu diangkat, maruah kamu terpelihara, kamu dihargai dan di pandang mulia, dan mendapat tempat di sisi Allah sehingga tiada sebaik-baik hiasan didunia ini melainkan wanita solehah.

Wahai Hawa,

Kenapa engkau tak menghargai nikmat iman dan islam itu? Kenapa mesti engkau kaku dalam mentaati ajaranNya, kenapa masih segan mengamalkan isi kandungannya dan kenapa masih was-was dalam mematuhi perintahNya?

Wahai Hawa,

Tangan yang mengoncang buaian bisa mengoncang dunia, sedarlah hawa kau bisa mengoncang dunia dengan melahirkan manusia yang hebat yakni yang soleh solehah, kau bisa mengegar dunia dengan menjadi isteri yang taat serta memberi dorongan dan sokongan pada suami yang sejati dalam menegakkan islam di mata dunia. Tapi hawa jangan sesekali kau cuba mengoncang keimanan lelaki dengan lembut tuturmu, dengan ayu wajahmu, dengan lengguk tubuhmu. Jangan kau menghentak-hentak kakimu untuk menyatakan kehadiranmu. Jangan Hawa, jangan sesekali cuba menarik perhatian kaum adam yang bukan suamimu. Jangan sesekali menggoda lelaki yang bukan suamimu, kerana aku khuatir ia mengundang kemurkaan dan kebencian Allah. Tetapi memberi kegembiraan pada syaitan kerana wanita adalah jala syaitan, alat yang di eksploitasikan oleh syaitan dalam menyesatkan Adam.

Hawa,

Andai engkau masih remaja, jadilah anak yang solehah buat kedua ibubapamu, andai engkau sudah bersuami jadilah isteri yang meringankan beban suamimu, andai engkau seorang Ibu didiklah anakmu sehingga ia tak gentar memperjuangkan ad-din Allah.

Hawa,

Andai engkau belum berkahwin, jangan kau risau akan jodohmu, ingatlah hawa janji tuhan kalian, wanita yang baik adalah untuk lelaki yang baik. Jangan mengadaikan maruahmu hanya semata-mata kerana seorang lelaki, jangan memakai pakaian yang menampakkan susuk tubuhmu hanya untuk menarik perhatian dan memikat kaum lelaki, kerana kau bukan memancing hatinya tapi merangsang nafsunya. Jangan memulakan pertemuan dengan lelaki yang bukan muhrim kerana aku khuatir dari mata turun ke hati, dari senyuman membawa ke salam, dari salam cenderung kepada pertemuan dan dari pertemuan...takut lahirnya nafsu kejahatan yang menguasai diri.

Hawa,

Lelaki yang baik tidak melihat paras rupa, lelaki yang soleh tidak memilih wanita melalui keseksiannya, lelaki yang warak tidak menilai wanita melalui keayuannya, kemanjaannya, serta kemampuannya mengoncang iman mereka. Tetapi hawa, lelaki yang baik akan menilai wanita melalui akhlaknya, peribadinya, dan ad-dinnya. Lelaki yang baik tidak menginginkan sebuah pertemuan dengan wanita yang bukan muhrimnya kerana dia takut memberi kesempatan pada syaitan untuk menggodanya. Lelaki yang warak juga tak mahu bermain cinta sebabnya dia tahu apa matlamat dalam sebuah hubungan antara lelaki dan wanita yakni pernikahan

Oleh itu Hawa,

Jagalah pandanganmu, jagalah pakaianmu, jagalah akhlakmu, kuatkan pendirianmu. Andai kata ditakdirkan tiada cinta dari Adam untukmu, cukuplah hanya cinta Allah menyinari dan memenuhi jiwamu, biarlah hanya cinta kedua ibubapamu yang memberi kehangatan kebahagiaan buat dirimu, cukuplah sekadar cinta adik beradik serta keluarga yang akan membahagiakan dirimu.

Hawa,

Cintailah Allah dikala susah dan senang kerana kau akan memperolehi cinta dari insan yang juga menyintai Allah. Cintailah kedua ibubapamu kerana kau akan perolehi keredhaan Allah. Cintailah keluargamu kerana tiada cinta selain cinta keluarga.

Hawa,

Ingatanku yang terakhir, biarlah tangan yang mengoncang buaian itu bisa mengoncang dunia dalam mencapai keredhaan Illahi. Jangan sesekali tangan itu juga yang mengoncang keimanan kaum Adam, kerana aku sukar menerimanya dan aku benci mendengarnya.

March 12 :)

My ‘baby’ died without any post on it. In case you didn’t know, It still alive ya? Hi back readers!

First of all, let’s welcome March 2012 in our life! Hopefully, we will have lot of memories, a lot of joy, a lot of happy moment. Anyway getting to the point. It has been a month and a half I haven't written any post. I don’t know if I’m being lazy, no idea, no point. Or weeeell, I think I always ended up with ‘lazy’. Never mind. Life has treating me good. School torture as always, family has been very good too, friends has been very awesome too. Next week is my exam week on Tuesday. Scare me much. I hate test like this! Even tho it’s pretty much easier than the real, mid-term, but I hate test. It’s not that I hate those exam papers. I hate the ‘time’. 3 subjects in a day. I probably caught up with this now. Killing my inside! Seriously. But it is okay. I’ll have my first semester break after that. Just a week but I don’t care. At least we get the ‘holidays’. We love that right, school kiddosss? My brain can’t bear with this subject thingy. It feels damn good that I can rest and typing this post right now.

STORY #283

There's been a lot going on nowadays. I'm currently not feeling well, kinda sick. Sucks having this continuous flu. Today was a shit-ass day. No wonder why I feel like something going to happen. Since last night. Ya since I type my previous post. I feel depressed for no reason. God’s testing me again today. I guess, I couldn't take it anymore, so I'm typing this post. It's not like anyone's gonna read it anyway, I don’t care if anyone not going to read this. This one is just for releasing what I should be releasing all this while. It sucks to only have your self to share the story, to share all the pain. I only have my self :’)

I've been stressing out a lot lately, in things i shouldn't be stressing out on. Dear you who might read this blog of mine, I’m sure you aren’t that dumb right? Yes. I hope you’re not. I don’t want to mention your name in this blog. You know, as much as i like mentioning names, your names aren't even worth having a spot in my blog. Hmp I still don't know why I get so sensitive at times. I love crying. You know why? And because of what? I’m crying cause that’s the only way for me to let out my sadness. I don’t have anyone beside me to share with. It shows that i’ve been strong for too long. I’m not weak! And I’m crying because of you. Yes no one. But YOU! Maybeee… I was just so stress before that. Knowing that the one who have been so close with you are the one who made me you cry too. I never knew it could be this often. A lil part of me still tells me that I’m still strong enough to face this thing.

Hopefully……………………

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I met one of wonderful god’s creation today.

I actually met a deaf and dumb guy while I’m waiting for my sis to come back just now. We can communicate a lil bit. He smiles a lot. He makes me look at the world differently. You know how much I thanks god when I met him? Alhamdulillah. Be praise to the lord a lot more now. I believe he has another advantage in himself that we don’t have

Grawrrr

Readers,

Can you believe about what I just did today?

3 post in a day? Am crazy?

No. I’ve got nothing to do. I’m totally bored kay.

WHY I TYPE LIKE THISS?! Ok gotta STOP this!

Gotta stop typing in the middle like this

Mwahahaha! -.-“

Weyhhhhhhhhhh, kenapa aku boring sangat ni? No idea ke about what I should do now? Most importantly Is today! What should I do today?!

Nahhh, hear this. Enjoy this peaceful melody. Don't cry. Just listen to it :')
Signing off, okay bye:*

Kill me, again brahh!

I wish there have a rewind button. So I could turn it to the previous chapter we once had it together. Nice to know you after a long time we have known each other. You know me as a girl who love to mumbling around even there wasn’t a reason behind it and I know you as a guy who strong enough, brave enough to face the thing even there were a storm in front of you. Loving the mom, loving the siblings, that’s you. Ya 3 years are not enough to know each other better but at least we get to know each other in a different way. You know, me and you are different. We’re different in our own way. But It feels like I know you a long time ago. We shared a lot, loves too much, missing the thing together. I wish we still together. Together like holding the hand. Soo… tight. I’m here, listening to the song, while staring at your pictures in my phone, reading back all the conversation we made. Tears rolled down my cheek as I type this. I wish, how I wish I could turn back thing. Fix the thing we’ve made. It shouldn’t be this way. If I knew you’d hurt me this way, I wouldn’t love you this much. I swear. But we have come to this. Nothing more I could say than this. The price I havta pay after all the happiness. Giving my love to you again now means giving you the power to hurt me more than anyone can or has ever had the ability to. You know why I rejecting you sometimes? Do you ever hear about ‘It’s not you I’m rejecting. It’s my heart I’m protecting’. Yes that’s it. After all, you are still here with me now. Still. Nothing change. I’ll forever hold the risks and bear with it as long as we still together. I love you, so much I love you. Dear you, I just wanted you to know that I still care about you. I don’t want to see you leave but if you do, I’ll forever miss the guy who loved me once. Maybe the puzzle will loss one of their part too, maybe the sun will loss his light too, maybe this girl will loss their power too. Perhaps