Thank you, 'friend'

Assalamualaikum WRT WBT

What a tiring day. What a bad day recently

I haven’t felt this all this while. This saddens me a lot. Those were the good all days when I thought everyone would understand and accept my appearance, transformation from bad to good. I know, it wasn’t really good and I know that you guys still talking bad about me behind my back all this while. I know that. Seriously. Mulut org tak mampu kita nak tutup. Tutup macam mana pun org akan tetap bercakap jugak. Thanks for being honest dearest friend, thanks for ‘noticing’, not to forget your ‘teguran’ too. I’ll accept it with my whole and sincere heart.

But what kind of ‘teguran’ is that when you’re talking about it with a loud sound in front of others friend? Malu tak malu god knows and everybody laughing like crazy… It happened in class. Cakap berpada. That thing happened LAST YEAR NOT NOW! Why lah benda yg kita dah berubah to something better but someone still bercerita balik kat kita pasal appearance kita baju ketat and not wearing hijab before? If it still happens now, for Allah’s sake I’ll never gets sad, angry because I know, you still see that kan but I’m changed now what. Right? Kawan2 awak pun dah nampak I’m changed. Sad thing is, kawan yg dah nampak tu pun together gether and gether laughing like crazy to me.

 Me: ‘Takpelah lepas ni keluar pegi memana aku pakai guni je okay’. 

'Ha bagus lah. Lepas ni aku nak tengok kau pegi KL pakai guni or telekong je okay?

My conversation. He wants to see that perhaps. Remember that statement? :’)

Teguran yg baik inshaAllah hati boleh terima. Teguran yg supposed to talk face to face with me. Bukan cakap bagi semua org dengar dan malu kan orang. Malu kan up until now. You have a girlfriend, baju ketat tak pakai tudung kenapa tak penah tegur? Why meee? Aku pakai tudung what, baju pun tak macam last year. About last year, i know that was my poor appearance. Not really good to show. THAT WAS LAST YEAR. But beza apa skrg dengan girlfriend kau kan? Just because of I’m ‘chubby’ so you guys have a lot of point to talk and laugh. Really? Alhamdulillah I still have a friend. They’re so ‘concerned’. Concern and laughing. Yes they are… thank you so much :’)

Million apologies kalau lepas ni dah kurang bertegur. Hidup dalam masalah sendiri lagi baik. Terima kasih atas teguran, kata2 pedas, semua gelak tawa korang pasal aku. Allah knows me better. May Allah bless you guys. Assalamualaikum, good luck for our upcoming examination. Do your best

Sincerely,
Aini Azhar

School will be over

25 days left before Ramadhan. After that, “Welcome to Syawal”. You love it? A month full of blessing. I’m going to face my trial examination after Raya. I’ll enjoy my raya as much as I can. Not going to say, no raya for this year. No no no. Raya is still raya what :/ Just on the first day laaa. Not to be over. I’m seventeen……….

‘Too close too comfort’

SPM is drawing near. We have only about five six weeks left to have our final preparation after trial *maybe*. Time is running out now. But I haven’t studied even a little bit for my exam yet. My mid-term examination is so frustrating. Not going to tell you about my grades. Just imagine, I have 2 failed subjects and 3 credits. Another subject… DOWN. TOUGH! It’s June already now. Very soon my life as a secondary school student will be over. I’m over thinking. It’s a bitter-sweet feeling. No more school, no more examinations, no longer lug my heavyweight school bag to school, no more homework and all. NO MORE. But I’ll miss the fun I had in school. I’ll miss my friends. Sad to leave my 12 years of school. Carved many memories that i would never forget. I’ll miss it. For sure………

Right now, I seem to be losing my passion for studying. I don’t know why. I can’t stand sitting in class all day, I can’t stand sitting and studying at home all day or even a minutes. WHY?! I need to change this feeling very very fast. There’s only about 5 months left to fight for my studies. everyone is eagerly preparing for it.

SPM IS NOT THE FINAL EXAM.
Did you know there will be many other exams to come?
It’s definitely not the hardest. Let’s fight for our future

Tune in next time. Bye

I'll miss you